The Beatles Short Stories

Help! We Can't Stop Laughing!

   The Beatles were currently in the middle of filming their movie entitled "Help!." Right now, they were at Buckingham Palace attempting to shoot a scene. They were having quite a lot of fun though, which doesn't seem like a problem, right? Well, they weren't just having fun, they were laughing uncontrollably and that was really starting to annoy the filmmakers. The scene was relatively simple--all they had to do was pretend that they wanted to chop Ringo's finger off because of the sacrificial ring. Simple.
   "Alright, lads we're gonna do this once more," Richard Lester, the director, said. "Please try not to laugh."
   "Okay! Let's do this!" John cried dutifully.
   "Ready, and, Action!"
   "We haven't seen you use that finger in the past hour and we're in danger as well y'know. Me and Paul haven't seen you make any use of that finger. Have you, Paul?" John recited.
   "No," Paul answered while shaking his head.
   "There's no doubt about it..." John started, but stopped short because he was afflicted with yet another laughing fit. "I'm sorry!" he said in between laughs. "I just can't help it!"
   This little incident caused the other Beatles to get tickled as well. At this point, John was rolling on the floor while laughing and Paul couldn't breathe.
   "Please stop! I can't breathe!" he cried while trying to halt the strong urge to laugh.
   "Too bad, Paul! You want me to chop off me finger!" exclaimed Ringo, somewhat seriously.
   The others all looked at him in silence for a moment before they all busted out laughing again.
   "That's a good one, Rings!" George guffawed.
   "Boys!" Richard Lester yelled.
   "Yeah, yeah, boys!" Paul sang. "Yeah, yeah, boys!"
   "Lads then!" he yelled again. "Please..."
   "Please please me oh, yeah! Like I please you!" George sang.
   "Stop it this instance!" the director pretty much screamed.
   At this, John hopped up from the ground and Paul and George stopped singing.
   "Listen! I have had just about enough of these shenanigans! You four are grown men, not children! Now, if you please, I would like to get this scene finished!"
   "We're sorry we hurt your field, Mister!" George apologized.
   "Wrong film, Harrison!" Richard yelled.
   "Oh, right!"
   Once again, they were a few steps from a roar of laughter, but, seeing that their director was about to rip their heads off, they held it in.
   "Okay, sorry Sir. I think we're ready to try again, right lads?" said Ringo.
   "Teacher's pet!" John criticized.
   "Again, wrong film!" Richard Lester cried. "That line is from "A Hard Day's Night!"
   "I know, I know! But, it's still true!"
   "Come on John let's just shoot this scene and have done with it," George suggested.
   "Alright, but I don't like it!"
   "Now then, positions lads!" Richard said as The Beatles took their places. "Ready and Action!"
   "We haven't seen you use that table in the past hour and..." John said but, you guessed it, stopped in a guffaw for he had said table instead of finger.
   Paul, George, and Ringo looked at John and then at each other and, after about five seconds, started cackling once more.
   "Table! He said table!" Paul roared while rolling around on the ground.
   "Hey! You try to remember such an uncommonly used word! I mean, finger? Who's ever heard of a finger?" John said in between laughs while trying to seem upset.
   "He makes a great point!" George fell about.
   "Mates! Would you please stop laughing! We're wasting everyone's time by laughing at everything. We need to finish this scene before we don't live to see tomorrow!" Ringo stated boldly.
   "Tomorrow never knows though, Rings," John said in a mocking tone.
   "Well, it's true and you three know it!" the drummer defended.
   "You're a rat underneath, aren't you?" Paul said while grinning.
   "McCartney! Save that line for later!" Richard Lester interrupted. "And you three should listen to Ringo. He's the only one that makes any sense!"
   "Thanks, Richy!" Ringo beamed.
   "Don't get used to it! Now, lads, I'm only going to ask one more time. Please don't laugh...even if you mess up your line."
   "I'll try to remember, Rich, but if I don't well it's just too bad isn't it!" Paul stated with a mock tone.
   John almost cracked up at Paul's remark but remembered to keep it together.
   "Once more, places! Ready and Action!"
   John recited his line and Paul recited his. Ringo pretended to be upset about them wanting to chop his finger off and George just played cards with the drummer. Finally, after many, many, attempts, The Fab Four had pulled through and finished the scene.
   "We did it! We did it!" John celebrated, triumphantly.
   "I knew you would!" Richard Lester commended.
   "Oh, no you didn't! You thought we'd never get through it!" George accused.
   "Well, maybe you're right, but I'm still proud of you!" the director chuckled.
   "That was the most fun I've had since Ballroom dancing!" Paul said sarcastically.
   "You're right there, mate!" John agreed.
   "I would practically die if I had to do that scene again!"
   "I don't think I could!" George said.
   "Okay, boys, you're allowed a break. Get outta here and get something to drink," Lester suggested.
   "Thanks, Dad!" John bellowed.
   The lads made their way out of the filming room and into the hall, but just as they were halfway down the hall they heard a panicked yell.
   "What was that?" George asked.
   "I don't know. Let's go check it out!" Paul replied.
   They ran back down the hall and into the filming room to find Richard Lester on his hands and knees shouting the word "Nooooooo!" They didn't know whether they should laugh, cry, or both.
   "What's the matter with him?" Ringo asked a crew member.
   "He was just informed that the cameraman left the cover on the lens. You four will have to do the scene again."
   The Beatles looked at each other with a look of utter terror before falling to their knees and wailing the same word--"Nooooooooo!"

This story was, once again, inspired by true events. During the filming of "Help!" when they are in Buckingham Palace they really couldn't stop laughing. Just thought you'd like to know. Also, I'm sorry it was a little short. My Birthday is today and so this past weekend I was busy with Birthday stuff. Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good rest of your day!