Let You Go

Chapter 13

I got up quickly and tried getting away from Cyan. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. I wanted to go cry by myself, I wanted to be alone. I hated the fact that I have to admit to him my feelings, because how else am I going to get away in this situation? It's like he has me cornered and I have nowhere to run. I don't have any excuses and now I have to tell him the truth.

My body crashed into his and I glanced up at him. "Nissa." He said my name, which only made me feel like running even more. I twisted and squirmed in his grip, trying to break free. I feel as if I'm getting arrested and I believe that this might be happening because Cyan's look on his face is telling me that he's dead serious.

"Nissa, tell me now." He demanded as I shook my head. Tears formed in my eyes and I tried blinking them away, but they won't go away. "C-Cyan..." I managed to say and he forced my head to face him with his hand. "You better tell me now or else you're not going anywhere." And he was serious.

"C-Cyan, look... I wanna tell you, but..." Tears started falling down my face, "You're someone else's okay? I am starting to have... To have... To have feelings for you! B-But! Don't worry! I know, you're hers and I just know I can't have you." I said and I felt his grip loosen. I manage to break free and started to walk off. "Is that what you think?" He said after me, but quietly and I heard him. I froze and I stood there, fighting my urge to look back.

"Nissa..." He called my name softly and I turned only my head and looked over my shoulder. He stood there with hurt in his eyes as his orange eyes pierced through me. His orange eyes again... Staring into my soul. I held my breath as I looked at him back. He started walking towards me and I started walking again. "Don't! Don't come near me! I can't be near you anymore!" I yelled as I tried to dash, but I already knew that he's faster than me.

He caught up to me and grabbed my waist and pulled me back hard. "You make things so difficult." He muttered under his breath and I turned to look at him. I already had a waterfall on my face as uncontrollable tears continued rolling down my face. "Difficult? I'm only doing what's right! I don't belong to you and I never will!" I yelled out and he kissed me. I stumbled back in surprise, but he didn't seem to notice as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

His lips seemed like they never wanted to leave mine and this was all new to me. I never really had a man in my life except for Jaehul and my father and my King father. Cyan kissing me, was even more new to me. It stirred up my feelings even more, as if I was soup inside, and I felt like that because even more emotions were boiling up inside. I felt like he was a practiced hypnotist because his kiss was really putting me under a spell.

No matter how hard I tried to take my mind off him, my thoughts would always lingered back to him and his lips are still stuck on mine. His kiss is only drawing me closer to him and I can't have that. Even though I have the most outrageous feelings for him, I can not have him. I needed to deny him and keep him out of my life, but no matter how many times I thought that, this kiss made it more painful for me because I know it would be impossible.

When we drew apart, I looked straight in his eyes. "You think that you can't have me?" He asked suddenly and I gulped hard as I nodded. He sighed and shook his head. "What if I said I wanted you?" He said and my eyes widened in shock.

"I would believe that you're lying. I'm a thorn on a rose. Everyone knows that we all like the flower part, not the thorns, that's why we cut them off. Cyan, just cut me off, you clearly don't see that I'm not the one for you."

"Don't compare yourself to a rose. How foolish of you, you're in denial. You still think I'm Yona's? Of course I could never forget her, but don't you think that she would be happy if I moved on and found someone else who made me happier as well? I'm over her, she's out of my life and she's dead. How can you say I am still hers? Prove it to me, tell me if you see her physically. Tell me if you see her next to me all the time."

I stood there dumbfounded. I looked at him with a pain in my chest. "What? You don't see her? Nissa, as much as I was in denial as well, I find you the most beautiful woman. I would get angry at you, yes, I did most of the time. That was because I was still figuring out my emotions, it's been a while since I ever felt like this and I wouldn't mind feeling this way about you."

I smiled weakly as I looked away. The tears on my face were beginning to dry and I rubbed my cheeks with the back of my hands. "You know how weird it feels confessing everything to you?" He said as he let out a chuckle. I threw my arms around him and he embraced me back. "Nissa? Would you mind, maybe staying by my side for a while? Not just for a while, like, I mean... Forever." He said as he took a deep breath.

There goes my heart racing again, but I felt as if it grew wings and started fluttering around. "Oh Cyan, I wouldn't mind at all. I don't know how long forever is, it seems like a really long time, and that's okay. I wouldn't mind spending that time with you. I still need to figure more about you, like, why you run so fast and leave me dying for air." I chuckled nervously and I felt him smile.

"I'm a ninja of course."

"That can't be it. Did you join a running club or something? If you did, I would like to see your medals because it's pretty obvious you won."

He laughed as he grabbed my hand. "Let's go back. We still need to fix up your shoulder." He pointed to my shoulder and I nodded. We walked back and everyone was gathered with Yane. "Where were you two?! Why do you guys always make me worry?! And it's just you two!" Yane complained as he threw his hands in the air.

I laughed as I turned to Cyan and there was a huge grin planted on his face. "Sorry Yane." I said to him and he bowed his head to me. "You left without letting me ever finish at all." He said and I sighed. Yep, that's me. Always leaving before anyone can really finish. "I was going to add something after that. I was going to say that we have some hypothesis that you're parents might still be alive. This is Jin we are talking about, he probably has them locked up to make him feel more powerful. And also, we have some information about um... What's his name?" Yane asked as he turned to Hiro.

"Jaehul." Hiro said.

"Ahh!" Yane said as clapped his hands together, finally realizing that was his name.

I shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Jaehul. I never wanted to speak of him again, but it seemed Yane didn't know the limits. Though, I wouldn't mind being informed by some information about Jaehul. I really want to know why he did what he did and his family background.

"Well well well. Good to see the group again." A voice said and we all turned to see Kai sitting on a horse. "Kai!" I yelled out as I released my hand from Cyan's and ran up to Kai. He got off his horse and hugged me. "Glad to see you." He said. "Where were you?" I asked him.

"I was just lost." He said, sounding a little suspicious. Now, is it because I've been hanging around ninjas too much, or is it because I have my own senses now? Whatever it is, Kai sounded a little off and I was scared. I was scared that my hunch would be right and something bad would happen. Don't jinx it. Stupid!

"Lost, eh?" Yane said.

"You were lost?" Malin bursted out laughing.

Kai stood there looking at everyone and he eventually locked his eyes with mine.