No Regrets. Just Love. (Katy Perry Fan Fiction)

Chapter 65: Panda Bear.

"I was a stupid coward you've met." he started, staring at me intently.

I stare at him for a second and break it, diverting my eyes down to my hands. I can't take a long gaze in his eyes.

"I--i... I'm such an idiot to leave you." He said with his opened hands on his knees.

I really am so speechless and I don't know what to speak to him. I don't know where to start. Should I blame him for leaving me or should I tell him that he's got something before he leaved me. Bit to think I was the one who pushed him to go just to make his dream come true.

"Damian? What happened to you?" I questioned, wondering why he didn't get successful to his band and how did he become a doctor?

"Katy, I'm not born to be like I thought I was." He said seriously.

"B-but how did you become a doctor in profession?" I questioned again really curious, why?"

"The record company drops us. I don't know what to do that time. I was frustrated and get drunk all night thinking we're all trashed and not good. Yeah, put down my own self. I almost forgot how to live and I almost forgot you but Carlo called me. He said that you're pregnant." he explained and furrows on the last part of his words.

I taken a back and feel nervous. I'm not ready to tell him.

He grabbed my hands and holds it firmly. His eyes look so sorry looking to mine that's ready to burst for tears.

"I ah--i-i--I've--" I stammered. I can't look to him.

"Carlo said that you are pregnant before I left you. I didn't know Kate. I was totally lost but as I hear the news Carlo told me, I was like enlighten and bring my courage back to live again." He said intently.

"But Damian... I'm sorry if I secreted it to you I was so scared back then. My family was having a bad relationship because I got pregnant. I--"

He cuts me. "I was about to see you but I'm already late." He said sadly.

I frowned. "Why? Why didn't you get to see me? Why?" I said as tears falls down to my cheeks. He was about to see me but why he didn't showed. I'm so down that time and I need a hand to help me; to lift me.

"I've heard that the child have passed away due to complication; a heart failure." he started. "I'm in front of your house but your mother stop me and told me that I'm no good for you. She said that I made you miserable." he said as his eyes are also tearing.

I looked down and got ashamed of mom. How could she do that? I want to shout out loud what my heart is shouting. Mom gets and destroys the part of my life being a mother for my child and this. This, what Damian's telling me. I can't believe it.

"I don't know what to say to you but that time I was so broke and I need someone to grip on. I waited for you to come and help me but you didn't and now you're here? Telling me this? This is totally a shit, a waste of time and tears." I stated as I looked at him with anger.

"I'm so sorry. I was really a coward." he drops his head down breaking our eye contact. "That day, I decided to pursue my degree as a doctor. Maybe our child inherent my disease; I've got a heart problem back when I was a kid and I came to think that I must get to be a successful doctor not a no good band vocalist." he explained and stand up. "I guess that's all I wanted to say. I'm guilty Kate and I'm always bearing it." He said coldly.

I looked up to him as he looked to me also. Our eyes met with his cold ones.

"I don't want to hate you but I can't explain the feeling I have now." I said, standing up also. "Or am I going to be angry or hate you? But we both have our own lives now. The past might hurt as you brought it back but I've buried it all ready and I've learned from it." I said to him as i assure that I'm already okay. I wipe my cheek as I sniff.