Now or Never

Chapter Five: Save Me.

"Save me. Save me from the pain I suffer every day. The needles I feel crashing through my treacherous heart that breaks at every touch. Save my from the death I go through every second, every minute, every hour. Save me from the life I have to live..."

"Save me from me."

She pierced open her eyes looking at the blurry ceiling of the dimly lit room. She felt like dead weight, not being able to move as if she had been strapped down to a bed. She scanned the room, feeling uneasy as she slowly recalled what she could from what seemed to her as days ago. She started at the walls, scanning the lamps, decor on the wall, to the hanging lights she had hung the day before, now were lit sparkling gold.  Trying to move she felt as if an elephant had sat on her. She lifted her head slowly only to catch her eyes upon the blonde-haired man who's head was laying down at her side, holding her hand tightly. She weakly moved her hand toward his head running her fingering through his soft fluffy locks of hair. 

A small tear falling from her cheek onto the white comforter dimming the color slightly as it soaked in. Looking down she chuckled, closing her eyes and looking away. "Why am I crying?" She asked herself already knowing the answer. 

She looked down at his hand intertwined with hers she let out a small sigh. "Why.." She whispered, "Why give me false hope." She pushed her hair back running her fingers through her hair with one hand, her other hand still holding his. 

"I don't deserve him." She said staring at their hands. "He deserves someone so much better than me..." 

She asked herself questions like this every day. Wondering why he was her friend. She told her self she didn't have the right to like him for he'd never love her like he could love someone else. He deserved better, She told herself. But rather than deserving him, in his words, he needed her.

"Your awake." He said plucking a small smile knowing she was doing better now.  

"Yeah, I guess I am." She said sadly wishing she had still been asleep. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked not realizing he was still holding her hand, now with both of them instead of just one.

"Like I've been hit by a truck.." She stated knowing what he was about to ask next.

"W-what happened?" He asked, voice low and cracking and he took a deep breath trying not to cry himself. 

She looked down at her blanket. She knew that she couldn't tell him. No matter how much she trusted him she felt he'd never love her if he knew her secret. He'd never love someone like me, she said. 

"I can't tell you right now." She stated as a tear rolled down her cheek, still looking down. 

"You know you can trust me, I only want to help but I don't know how to help you this time. I don't know why this happened.." 

"Don't.." she cut him off saying, "I will tell you when I'm ready." She said harshly hoping he'd leave her alone. She looked to the wall opposite of him, wishing he'd let her be, yet wishing he'd crawl right up to her and just hug her forever.

Torn on her feelings she looked over to him making eye contact, seeing his eyes had turned red as he was trying to hold back tears, "I need to get changed, I can take care of myself from here. You're supposed to be with your parents. Go. I'll be fine by myself." She said throwing the now heavy blanket off her. She threw her legs off the bed into her slippers and walked over to her crowded closet. 

"Clearly not." He said as she could feel his eyes piercing through her as she had her back turned to him shuffling through her shirts. 

"Leave." She stated bluntly. 

He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he prepared himself for the rather hard words coming from his mouth, "I told you already, I'm not going anywhere, nor will I ever. I will be here, always, to protect you. And there's nothing you can do about it." He said shocked at his own words yet standing firm waiting for her reply. 

She slowly let her hand fall to her side as she turned to the caring boy standing in the middle of her room. She looked up at him tears in her eyes, "Don't do this to me jimin. Your my best friend.. not my boyfriend." She said as the words pierced his heart. 

He looked at the ground now slightly heartbroken. He chuckled in defeat. "Fine." He said quickly turning away from her heading for the door. She realized what she had just said and run after him. "Jimin wait!" She exclaimed pushing past the hallway. 

She stopped and stared at the now broken boy whose hand was on the doorknob halfway through twisting it. "I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other. But RaeKyung you obviously don't want me right now." He said softly looking at the ground. She stood shocked not moving a muscle. He looked up at her for a split second and back towards his hand as he finished twisting the knob and walked out. 

She stood unable to move, thoughts flooding through her head as she tried to figure out what she could possibly do. She lifted her head and ran back to her room and grabbed the closest jacket she could find, threw it on, and threw herself out the door down the stairs chasing after him. 

She ran and ran, her heart now beating out of her chest. But she didn't care. All she wanted was to see him. She felt bad for what she said to him, she wanted to take it all back, every word. She wanted to go back, when he was by her side as her bed, holding her hand. She didn't want him to leave. 

She chased as her hair flew through the cold wind as it stung her cold skin like sand blowing in the wind. 

"JIMIN!" She yelled at the top of her lungs to the boy speed walking who was now in front of her. She stopped, dead in her tracks as he did the same. 

"IM SORRY." She said loudly so he could clearly hear her. He looked to the ground, every bone in his body wanted to turn around and hug her. 

She moved, putting one foot in front of the other, and ran towards the boy whose back was facing her. She ran to him wrapping her arms around his small toned waste from behind nuzzling her face into his fluffy jacket. 

"I'm sorry.." she whispered to him. 

He turned around now facing her as he stared blankly at her for a moment examining her face, not expecting her to chase him how she had. Pulling her in for a warm hug he wrapped his arms around her resting his chin on her shoulder. "It's okay.." he said softly to her, "I'm sorry I asked... I should have let you tell me yourself when you felt like it not when I felt like it, I'm sorry.." He whispered to her as his breath was visible in the cold icy air. 

"It's okay.." she said softly "so we're friends again?" She questioned sniffling her nose. 

"Yes." He said giggling. He pulled away from her seeing her flushed face and pink nose from the cold. "Aigoo so adorable." He thought as his heart burst. 

She rubbed her arms with her hands as if to bluntly say, IM COLD. 

"Let's go grab a bite to eat and warm up." He said motioning with his head for her to walk with him. She nodded her head as she breathed onto her hands rubbing them together to warm them up. 

"Here." He said grabbing her hand into his and stuffing them into his jacket pocket. Her face immediately headed up revealing a soft red blush burning onto her cheeks. Thankfully she was already flushed from the cold so he couldn't notice. She couldn't hold eye contact with him as she was extremely nervous. 

"Did I just do that!?!" He thought, screaming at himself shocked by his actions. "Why am I so nervous! We're just friends. Friends help each other out like this."

"Right?"