It's fine, I forgive you... // Bakudeku angst // (DISCONTINUED)

13. No homo?

The song just reminds me of this ship hardcore way.

Nvm me
_________________________________

Broccoli's POV:

"Who did this to you, Kacchan?" I asked, paying attention to him.

Blasty boy's POV:

My chest hurt. The whole situation was getting out of my control. I had never done anything like this, expressing my own feelings had always been hard for me but confessing something I've kept quiet about for around 10 years such as that... I believed it would be easy, it was just talking after all, and I couldn't be more wrong. It felt like something inside of me was holding back my voice, emptying my lungs, punching my head... All at the same time. "Why are you this weak?! spit that shit out already, pussy! You're acting like a drama queen for fucks sake"

"Kacchan..?" Deku muttered.

"Do you remember when the old man was sick?...We were around 6, if I remember well" The warm embrace gave me enough bravery to start talking, I didn't care how much I said, I just needed to get it off my mind.

"I do, from then on your mother hardly let you go out or come over at our place.." He said with a nostalgic tone. "Exactly, that was my point. You know how the old hag was back then. Well, she changed after that. I guess it was out of worry and stress, thing is, she started drinking like crazy... I was the one to fucking take care of the old man 'cause she couldn't even stand still most of the time! Disgusting" I heard the nerd softly gasp at that. "Did he really not expect that bitch to be such a disgrace?! Damn"

"That bitch has no control when she's drunk tho, It was better that way. About the bruises, she made some. I did the others. Not like I care, pain is easy to handle anywa-" Without finishing my dialogue, the nerd interrupted by pulling me away, looking straight into my eyes "Kacchan, I know physical pain is an usual thing for you, especially now that you gave an explanation. You dont need to explain that, I know what you mean about aunt- Mitsuki too... If you feel more confortable, you can tell me later about it but, I want to know... Why did you hit yourself, Kacchan?" His eyes were filled of sadness. Was he pitying me? Bet you so. "Dont interrupt me, nerd!!... Sure tho." I rolled my eyes and looked aside, making eye contact felt too awkward, just as if he was judging my weaknesses with ease. Awful.

"I'm weak, you already know. Its just a way to release anger and get stronger physically. Not to sound crazy but... The thought of beating myself up until I choke on my own blood and die, for being such a fucking weakling, gives me a weird feeling of joy. Dunno, its a fair punishment for all I've done, maybe even too gentle." As I said that, my expression lacked emotion. I was calmly talking, not really giving a single fuck about the nerd's reaction.

"Is it addictive too?"

"What?"
"Dont fucking know?! Why would it be??" I yelled out of confusion.

"Well- it's nothing, really, just... My mind, heh" Deku said in a nervous tone.

I got up and stretched, taking the empty mug of coffee with me as I walked up to the kitchen.

"...This conversation is over, for now. We should start cleaning already" I left the cup in the sink and waited. Deku followed with his cereal and did the same. Then, he looked at me "Sure, Kacchan! Same organization as yesterday?" I nodded.  "Ok!" He smiled cheerfully and walked away happily.

"...adorable"

It took me longass time to realize what my internal voice said. "Wait, what- no! Its not, he's....agh, Who am I trying to fool?" I covered my face in embarrassment and walked off to do my work.