Life after him

CHAPTER 7: Regrets

I lay in the hospital bed with my head in my hands thinking of everything through and how it happened I don't have a best friend anymore and no boyfriend, no one cares about me anymore.

My life was so plain and simple before I met Peter, I was the shy and quite girl just living my life with endless possibilities, I wouldn't mind how I look or what I put on, I never cared about anything or anyone's opinion, I was so free,but then I fell in love and everything just flipped upside down. I don't even know what is next, I am in a hospital and a boy so frightened, a dead father ,and a mother in critical condition, who knows if she will ever make it, a broken heart, a broken friendship I just don't know where or who to talk to, I can't figure out my life anymore nothing make sense anymore I trusted too much and now am hurting too much too.

The door open and a nurse came in it has been three days now after the accident and not even my ex best fried or ex boyfriend made an effort to come see me plus that evil women: my aunt, she just sent my little cousin to come check on me.

"Hey how do you feel today ?" The nurse ask as she take a look at some machines beside me.

"I am doing okay there is less pain now and I can move my body parts with no much pain." I explain to her as she noted it down
"Well it seems like you are healing faster than I thought and the surgery went very well you will be out of here in no time , just keep on resting and taking your medicine as required" she smile to me, she is very kind and knows how to make a person feel better, I went through surgery for my fractured lib but feel much better now I don't know much about hospital things even though the doctor did explain everything to me before and after surgery.

"Oh I almost forgot there is a boy outside here to see you, should I let him in" she ask as she turn at the door, who could it be then? maybe my cousin
"Yeah sure " I reply and she left the room.

I was busy fixing my hospital gown as the nurse was looking at my wounds and how they are healing so far, then someone talked

"Hey Tina " I just froze and turn to look at him, my heart start racing fast and my bile start raising, what does he want, what is he doing here ? and how dare he show up after three days of the accident, three days who does that? he should have never come anyways , he is the whole cause of this and I really don't want to hear his voce not now or never

"What are you doing here?" I ask with a sour expression on my face my blood is boiling of anger.

"Look I know we aren't in good terms and you are actually angry at what happen and I am sorry , I just , I, I don't know what happened to me, I am not used to committed relationship am so sorry I hurt you that way I just needed a break from us maybe that's what I thought" he explains his nonsense, who cares anyways the damage is done already and nothing will erase that not even an explanation nor an apology.

" How long ?" I ask him not wanting to hear his no sense making talks
"What ? " he ask with a shocked face.

" I mean how long have you been seeing her ?" I say looking away I really don't even want to look at him now am hurting and regretting everything, everything that I did just for him , and the most painful thing is that I regret falling I love with him .

"About a month now, I know you have a lot of questions to ask and I really am sorry and I can answer them all" he say looking downward I can see guilt is killing him but I care less now and I ignore his words.

"What brought you by anyways ?" I just don't want to deal with any of this now he has cause a lot of damage and I don't want to be reminded of that right now 
" I came to see how you are doing, I heard that you got in an accident but I did get time so I came to see you am so sorry Tina, Alma is in the hallway we came together but she didn't,,,,,"

"Get out Peter " I shout at him pointing at the door  his on earth does he tell me that "we came together " really so Alma even have the guts to come here after what they did and yet they come here together , oh no
"She really care and  she is worried about you and she said sorry" he say looking away a let out a sniff

" Hah me ? who are you kidding ?"I say with an evil laugh I know she is just hereto make fun of me and show off  that she is happy with my ex.

"I am sorry Tina I am the cause of all this you where never this cold and ignorant you have changed so much and I am sorry for what happened, I know it was because of me that you got in the accident, I mess up really big time and I don't know if am ready to lose you yet ,," I cut him as he was there speaking and not even listening to himself

"Oh please spare me your useless apology it won't take away the pain you have caused, there is a poor boy who lost his father and a mother in an unbearable condition just because of my stupidity ness, falling in love with the wrong person ever in my life and yeah you have lost me already " I let out a deep breath to calm myself I am more than pissed now.

" Now you are making me look bad and as if I am at fault of all things, its not like you are perfect at all " wow I should have known better it seems like I don't know him any more did he come here to blame me for his mistakes, I underestimated him.

"Ta-da-h  look what I brought you" Max came in with a cheerful voice holding a big teddy bear but when he look up and notice Peter and his mood drop, they don't get along I don't know why up to now.

"Oh sorry I did know you have a visitor I will come back later " he turn to leave but I was getting annoyed by Peter here.

"Oh please don't, actually Peter here was just leaving " I say faking a smile as hard as I could , he turn to me one last time

"So Max then , I see " and then he left, I sit up straight on my bed and start crying I can't believe anything that just happened. Max come and seat next to me soothing me
"Its OK , its OK , stop crying he is not worth your tears he is such a fool, please stop crying I can't bear to see you like this " he kept on whispering things that I want to hear in my ears to make me feel better and it worked, after a few moment  I was back to myself again and we started talking about different things.

Max brought me some sandwiches and we ate them together,  I really don't like hospital food they smell bad and just tasteless .

After a while I decided to tell Max about what happened between me and Peter and Alma , I know he is anxious to know but he just respect the fact that I don't want to talk about it on top of that he has been here for me all  the time.

"They cheated on me" I say and pause then I continue  "Alma and Peter, I found them in Peters place and , and , they where having sex when I walk into them " I  tell him as he just look at me with a weird face expression as if she have never heard of such a thing.

"Wow I don't know what to say but really you are such a brave girl and I shouldn't have judged you that day in the park, I just couldn't help myself as I was going through some personal things." He explain with a low voice
"Its not your fault Max" I look away I still have the memory of that day imprint in my mind as it keep replaying in my head.

To my surprise Max came and hug me, "I feel like you can use that. I am sorry that have to happen to you but I can see you are so strong and I am proud  of how you are hiding up" he says and I was so grateful t o have such a friend.