Sinking Deep

Torn Path

Minho has just gotten done with his driving shift, which implies it's my turn. Since I've been in the district my whole life I was never taught how to drive, a few of the guys helped me while I was working on the bus.

      "Min, I'll take over now. Go get some rest."
         I pat his shoulder suggesting him to get up.

     "You're sure you'll be okay?"
        He ask knowing I haven't driven a vehicle before.

     "I'll be fine, go get some sleep. I'll wake Changbin up when it's his turn."
       Minho finally lets out a heavy sigh and goes to lay down on the seat behind me.

     I start up the bus once again trying my best to recall what the others taught me. After a little practice it becomes familiar. Driving is kind of relaxing, weirdly. I can't help but to get caught up in my thoughts, as I usually do. Zoning in and out. My mind is wondering frantically. I find it hard to keep my focus on the road, my mind keeps diverting back to the 9 sleeping bodies behind me. A part of me wishes I could read minds, so I could know exactly how to help each of them. The other part, it's scared of everything that could be flawed in this wish.

     Managing to keep a good balance between focusing on my thoughts and the road ahead of me. My mind begins to question who I am, like who am I really. If the person I've been taught to be was forced upon me by the district. Then who am I when I'm not being forced to be someone I'm not? I shake my head, mentally telling myself to pay attention to the road.

     After a few hours of driving Changbin gets up signaling it's his turn. I allow him to take over while I take a seat in the very back. As I look over to see a wild Chan sleeping soundly. A rare sight I've only seen about twice. None of us really get enough sleep, so seeing all of them asleep is quite comforting. I've always figured that you could tell a lot about a person by the way they sleep. It sounds weird but I've in ways found it to be true. When you're sleeping, that is your most venerable moment. Some sleep curled up in a ball, much like myself. Others sprawled out, limbs everywhere. Some have to hold something, for comfort.

Deciding it's best if I get some rest as well I place my jacket over me to gain somewhat of warmth. Slowly but surely I feel my body sink deeper into sleep. I often felt scared while falling asleep in the District, I was scared of the guards watching me. It's different now, I feel at ease.
-
I wake up to someone lightly shaking my shoulder. Felix looks down at me with a tired smile.

"Hey Lix, my turn?"
I asked him, they may have changed the order already.

"No, I just wanted you to scoot over."
I move over in order to make room for both of us. He quickly takes his spot next to me in the leather bus seat.

Within minutes Felix is asleep. Though I'm quite restless. I can't seem to stop worrying about Jeongin. He's driving so I don't want to bother him, I just hope he's okay seeing the city again. I know it's going to be nostalgic for him. Hell, I bet just being on a school bus again is nostalgic.

With Felix leaned against me, I avert my eyes to the world that lies outside my window. For some reason, I wonder what it would be like to be a kid on their way to a normal school day. Upset that I had to wake up so early, always anticipating lunch time. Getting to roam the halls with friends and peers. School always sounded blissful to me, despite how they make it sound in books. I mean, sure the District had a school like thing. Every week we were divided by age and put into intelligent matching classes. "Class" only lasted 2 hours, no talking, no distractions... It can be easy to get caught up in a dream or more like a wish.

     The movement of the trees is in sync with the wind, kinda like the leaves have been given a direction ahead of time. Unlike people who just ironically "flow with the wind", really that statement has proven to be false. People see a way or two, they choose where the go. I recall Chan showing me a poem, it's called Road Not Taken I'm not sure exactly what the author meant, I think that's the whole point. For the reader to interpret their own meaning, did the author choose the wrong path and wishes he could go back, is he happy he traveled trough the less taken path? Apparently people have taken a very different approach to the words.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

     Personally I think the author was happy with his choice, I think he took the path that others had not. Perhaps the path he took was harder but the outcome was greater. I pray the same applies to us, maybe, just maybe leaving the district was us taking the road less traveled by. If what I believe is correct, the road ahead of us is long, which is good.