Deadly Infatuation

46 - Tail In Between My Legs

~ Easier- 5SOS ~

I think I'm finally losing my mind.

I can't sleep, but keep pacing in my room. I'm worried sick about Taylor, he just took off to god-knows-where. I wanted to go look for him at his house but Elle advised against it. When I called Joseph to ask if he's home, he said he hadn't seen his brother since after the funeral service.

If something bad happens to him, I won't ever be able to forgive myself. The pangs of guilt hit me harder as each hour passes by without a word from him. I need to see him and explain what happened. He thinks what Calum said is true but it's not. Urgh, fucking Calum. I swear I will strangle him if I see him again.

I've tried calling but his phone goes straight to voicemail and I've left countless messages but he hasn't responded to any of them.

I need to speak with you.

Taylor, why aren't you answering my calls?

Please hear me out, give me a chance to explain, everything Calum said is a lie.

Where are you? I'm worried sick.💔

Please at least give me sign that you're okay.

After trying to contact him the whole day and now night, I decide to throw in the towel. I've asked Joseph to let me know if he comes back home safely or not. He's gone now and the prospect of him not coming back to me is haunting my mind.

Calum is a dick, how pathetic of him to turn the situation around like that. I can't believe I used to date that fucker.

And for all of this drama to occur on the day of Jenny's funeral. Having to deal with explaining to Father Collin and my parents was exhausting. I couldn't even tell them the real reason behind the fight, and I hope Calum doesn't either. I lied and told them that they just fought because they are rivals and I was trying to stop them from hurting each other any further. My parents would have my head for lying to them about my boy troubles.

I'm just praying none of the students at St Peters get wind of this, then, my life would officially be over. At least my best friend believes me, she truly knows that I'd never do something like that to Taylor. I care about him, deeply. I may even be in love with him, I'm not sure though, I've never been in love before.

I used to think that I was in love with Calum, but that was just infatuation. Taylor makes me happy and he genuinely cares about me, he's shown me that countless times. And what have I done in return? I've been treating him poorly these last few weeks. Shutting him out when all he wants to do is be there for me and help me in any way he can.

I'm hurt, not only because of this misunderstanding but because I realise how much of a stubborn and selfish bitch I've been. And now, the most beautiful thing I've ever had with any guy may come to an end as a result.

It's ten thirty p.m now and just as I'm about to try calling him again, my phone buzzes with a notification. A message from Joseph.

Taylor just got back. He looks like shit, but is otherwise okay. Our parents are pissed, but he just walked in and locked himself in his room.

I sigh heavily in relief and reply with a quick text.

Thank you Joseph, he's not replying to any contact I'm trying to make with him so if he talks to you, please tell him to get back to me.

Joseph: Alright, no promises.

I decide to go to sleep, maybe Taylor just needs to cool off for a bit. I couldn't have been more wrong.

***

"I don't know Elle, we haven't talked all weekend, I'm scared that it's over," I tell my best friend as we're getting our books for our next class. I haven't seen him all morning, and I'm convinced he's avoiding me.

Elle gives me a sympathetic look. "Well you won't know unless you speak to him," She says. "How can I talk to him when he's avoiding me like this?" I ask her. "Tam, I don't know alright, but what I do know is that you guys are crazy about each other, yes, y'all haven't exactly been in the best place in your relationship recently but that doesn't mean it's over, it's just a minor mishap, now make him see that," Elle advises me.

I hope she's right. I'm about to close my locker and nearly stumble in surprise when I see Taylor walk right past us and into the Math class. I feel my heart sink instantly. He didn't even spare a glance at me. Unluckily for me, the students in the hallway notice the tension between us and I can already see them coming up with theories.

Alright, fuck it.

I slam my locker door shut and walk into the classroom with purpose. I spot him sitting with his basket ball pals and make my way towards him. "I told him to got get his hair fixed because his hairline is trash," Dustin says and they all laugh. I'm tired of this, we need to get our shit together. I watch as immediately I'm next to him his friends go silent. Taylor, however, doesn't acknowledge my presence and I don't care, I'm going to speak with him whether he likes it or not.

"Taylor, I need to talk to you," I tell him. Taylor's jaw clenches and he faces me. "Not now, I'm busy," He flips me off. Ouch. I'm taken aback by the tone he's using with me. Like he's already made up his mind about the situation. His friends look between us in confusion. "Please, it's urgent," I insist. Taylor exhales loudly through his nostrils.

"I said, not right now," He says slowly in annoyance. By now, the whole class is fixated on our confrontation. I'm dying of humiliation but mostly the pain of rejection is cutting through my already fragile heart. I swallow hard, fighting back tears and walk to my seat with my tail in between my legs.

I just want to crawl into a hole and die at this point.

***

The rest of day sped away with me avoiding everyone I knew. Just when I didn't want to be at the center of the school's gossip forums.

Elle told me that people have started speculating about our relationship, some being convinced that it's over and I'm playing the jilted ex who is pathetically pining for him. And apparently, the popular girls are relishing the fact that I've been dumped not once but twice in the same year by two guys totally out of my league.

Fuck them. I honestly couldn't be bothered. I'm not a quitter by nature but I'm absolutely exhausted with Taylor at this point, I don't know what to do anymore, he's not even willing to hear me out at least. I've had to prevent Elle quite a few times from going off on him.

Maybe it was never meant to be.

It just sucks that it has to end like this, because of a stupid misunderstanding, caused by my douchebag of an ex. Speaking of that little twat, where the hell is he? I need to give him a piece of my mind. If he's not here at school, I sure hope it's 'cause he's bruised in a hospital bed. I should've just let Taylor kill him.

Bloody little nuisance.

Of course I don't mean that, I'm just venting out my anger. The bell rings to signal the end of school for the day and I immediately grab my things and head out. I need to be alone. And I need to get Dr Michaels to prescribe some more pills for me.

I'm going to need something a little stronger than paracetamol and sleeping pills for the frequent headaches I've been experiencing and for the sleepless nights.

I power walk down the many stairs at the main exit and just before I can get to the gate, I spot Taylor standing by his car in the parking lot. Our eyes meet and I feel a surge of mixed emotions all over again. He pushes off from the side of his Audi and walks towards me and I feel my heart beat faster in my chest out of anticipation.

"I'll give you a ride home," he says curtly. And I already know what'll happen next.