This Is Not a Tragedy

21 | Great Change

Friday, October 5, 2007

"I'm heading out." I give a nod to the remaining staff as I make my way to the bookstore exit.

"See you next week," my coworkers reply in unison.

Customer service was tough at first. Eighteen years of minimal interaction with even my classmates, and now I had to be friendly and pleasant to strangers? For the first few weeks, I'd come home feeling burnt out. After a while, though, it got easier. Frequent customers began to happily recognize my face, and I've gotten pretty good at faking a smile thanks to Dante's coaching and practice.

Unlocking the car with the remote, I check my cell phone and see a message from Sergius: 'I'll be home late. You and Nina behave.'

I roll my eyes and set the phone in the cupholder. I have to assume Sergius is joking, considering all Nina and I ever do is read, chat, or keep to ourselves. Dante left the house for his own home first, and last week, Candra did too. It wasn't standard, Sergius told us, but Nina wasn't particularly new to being a vampire, and I had adjusted to being half and seemed "mentally stable," so live-in mentors weren't a necessity. Thus, it was just me, Sergius, and Nina. And honestly, only the three of us living together―an 18-year-old mixed-Japanese guy, a god-knows-how-old blonde British man, and a 16-year-old Norwegian girl―feels even stranger than us three plus the older mentors.

I pull up to Nina's school. One thing that hasn't changed is picking Nina up. Just as she had at the end of her first day, Nina spots the car and keeps her head down as she approaches. She doesn't lift her head until she reaches for the door handle, and after getting in, she looks at me and smiles.

"How was school?" I ask.

"Fine. How was work?"

"Fine."

I pull off to take us home. And so it goes every time I pick her up from school after work. On days I don't pick her up, she comes to the bookstore and waits for my shift to end. And on days I don't work, our exchange is halved.

"Sergius said he'll be home late."

"Oh. Then, uh..." From my peripheral vision, I see Nina fidget. "The... other kids were talking about this movie. I was wondering... if you wouldn't mind taking me."

"You made friends?" I whip my head around to her in surprise. Sergius, who is constantly asking about her relationships, will be elated.

Nina blinks then tucks her hair behind her ear. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, you take me."

I stare at Nina before realizing I should be staring at the road. "You mean me dropping you off or... seeing it with you?"

"The second."

"Oh." I guess there's no harm. "Wait, is it romance?"

I can't help but wrinkle my nose. I've seen romantic movies, mainly Japanese ones. They bored me back then. Even in books, it bores me. But I've come to discover that Western romance is worse. Sex scenes aren't shied away from. In general, Westerners are more open, and since Sergius' talk with me that one time, seeing others be intimate and ridiculously in love makes me hyper-aware of how I can't fathom desiring any of that. So I've gone from bored to annoyed.

"Uh..." Nina hesitates. I look over, and her face is dejected, so I take that as a yes. "I know you don't like romance, but there's other stuff too. Like war. And..." Her fingertips pull on the hem of her skirt. "It's rated 15, so I don't suppose it's that bad? I just," her voice gets smaller, "wanted to do something together besides read..."

I take advantage of the stoplight to stare at Nina. She's emotional, and I'm not sure why.

"I just thought... if I see it, then... I'll know what the other girls are talking about," Nina whispers, and my chest feels strange because there was a time in the past when I had those same thoughts.