This Is Not a Tragedy

38 | The Consequences of Love

"He's still in there," Nina tells Sergius. She's been standing at the bathroom door for several minutes.

"Just leave him be."

"But it's been so long," she whines.

"Natsu," Sergius knocks at the door. I look at my shriveled fingers. The bathwater isn't even hot anymore.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Natsu," Nina calls softly, "I fixed you some tea. But... it's probably cold now."

"I'm fine," I say again. Just go away.

"Leave him alone," Sergius tells her. He leaves, but she lingers at the door for a bit longer before stubbornly leaving as well.

I drain the bathwater.

Then I turn on the shower.

After 10 minutes, I finally get out. I brush my teeth then decide to dry my hair with a hairdryer, section by section. That takes over 20 minutes, including the breaks I take when my arms get tired. After getting dressed, I clean the giant bathtub, clean the sink, clean the mirror, and then look for something else to clean.

Nina's at the door again. "Sergius made some fresh tea, and I got some books if—"

When I open the door, she stops speaking. Glad to see me, she smiles, but I just walk past her. Still weak, it takes me forever to get down the long staircase. Nina trails behind.

Sergius is waiting for me in the gathering room. "Are you hungry? It's been a while, right?" Before I can answer, he says, "Nina, why don't you go get some food?"

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" she demands.

"Because I want to talk to Natsu alone, and you are so damn clingy," he snaps.

She clenches her jaw, and I know she's hurt. "Do you want me to leave Natsu?"

I answer with a short, quiet sigh.

"Fine." She snatches the car keys off the table by the front door. "Goodbye, Sergius. Goodbye, Edin." And she spins out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Sit down," Sergius tells me. He sits down in the armchair adjacent to where I sit on the couch then motions to the cup of tea he's set on the coffee table.

"So, I saw some of it earlier, but what happened―from the moment you got home to the moment you answered my call."

My tired eyes shift away to the white wall, blank as my mind.

"Natsu, show me."

White dress. Her lips saying she'll get treatment. Kisses. Bite. 'I love you.' Guilt.

Sergius frowns deeply and is momentarily silent. "Okay, first things first―she was ill?"

Leukemia.

Sergius's body tenses, and I know what he's thinking. 'I must tell the labs. This is very important to the autopsy and research.'

His jaw tightens, proving me right. He then clears his throat. "Secondly... Your intimate actions... Pardon my intrusiveness, but... you felt no desire?" His brow is furrowed again, and I see it―that same look he gave me during our past conversation. Like I'm a peculiar scientific phenomenon.

"I'm not judging you, Natsu."

You're not?

"We just... We know when a Nativus bloodthirsts. From what I see, you had no trigger. No lust. Like and concern isn't the same as love. Guilt isn't enough to trigger bloodthirst in a Nativus."