This Is Not a Tragedy

27 | The Kind of Person I Am

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sergius calls me downstairs after returning home and sits me in front of his office desk.

"The results are in!" he announces with a grin and wiggling eyebrows.

When he gave me my next cases for the IVA work a week ago, Sergius told me they still had some of my blood locked away.

'It'll be thrown out,' he'd said. 'But first: is there anything you want to know? We can't find out whether you have the enzyme, but we can find out how long you'll live. You were curious about that, right? I'd also still like to test your nutrition...'

I could trust Sergius now not to push my limits, knowing he wouldn't dare run tests I hadn't agreed to, so I'd given permission.

Sergius leans forward, elbows on his desk. "So, we've been studying your cells for a while, and it's estimated that―assuming you live healthily and there are no freak accidents―you'll likely live between 237 and 316 years."

"That's a grossly wide estimate."

"I prefer to give a large margin of error."

That's also a long time.

"And, of course, as technology advances, the life expectancy increases, as it does with humans. It may very well turn out that in 10 years, your cells will move even slower. Then you may live to 475." Sergius waves his hand. "Anyway, as the tests show now, we'll be old and grey together. Haha, how strange!"

It does sound strange. I wonder how old my father is but don't really want to ask. The thought that I may one day look the same as him is unsettling. It makes me almost wish I was full Nativus.

A forced smile rests on Sergius's face. "Also, you have a slight nutritional deficiency since you haven't been taking the supplements. Have you honestly not had any symptoms of something being off? Absolutely any changes, even if minor?"

Having read the information in those binders and done the IVA work, I'm not as opposed to the supplements as I once was. In fact, I'm probably not opposed to them at all. "I'm not having any symptoms, but I'll take them." I shrug. "If I'm showing a deficiency."

Sergius seems taken off guard by my agreement but tries not to let it show too much. "Alright. I'll get you a supply tomorrow. Or you could pick it up from the IVA pharmacy your―no, I'll bring them."

"I have one question."

"Yes?"

"Is the reason I still haven't seen my father because he's a coward?"

Sergius doesn't hide his shock this time. "Do you want to see him?"

"No."

Sergius blinks.

I look down at my palm. "I've never punched anyone before, but I think my first time would be when I see him." My matter-of-fact tone doesn't match my words.

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Sergius looks towards the ceiling. "Yes," he finally answers, with a drawl.

I nod once in understanding. Even if we someday look the same, I will never be the kind of person Wataru "Lucius" Katana is. Never.

After Nina's outburst, I decided I needed to figure her out. I finally figured out that she's more attached to me than I ever realized. It's the only explanation I could think of for her crying just because I'm leaving the house.

She'd been giving me the silent treatment since and I'd once heard a man say that when you don't know why a woman is angry, just apologize anyway. So, one morning when I dropped her off at school, I did just that. She didn't seem upset when she glanced away and left the car without a word. So I guess she wasn't as angry anymore. But she still wasn't happy.