Reality of Yearning (GxG)

20. Yellow rose

Time was moving too fast for Sasha to be able to control her anxiousness. She was feeling overpowered by her nerves and it was making her both tense and cold.

Ever since she had received that text from Cameron, she couldn't stop thinking about it. The way it was written didn't foreshadow anything good. In her experience, when someone wanted to talk, it was never good news. And in this situation, Sasha could only think of one reason why Cameron wanted to talk to her, and that would be to tell her she wanted to back away from her.

That would make sense in Sasha's mind. Since Cameron had never felt attracted by any woman before, she was probably scared or maybe she had figured out that she had made a mistake and simply liked Sasha as a friend. Those things happened. On top of that, Sasha knew that Cameron was close to a certain Ryan whom she may have had slept with and was a great friend of her friends'. All in all, Sasha was certain that Cameron would want to distance herself.

When she heard the door bell at 11:30, Sasha knew it was Cameron. Since she was upstairs, she took five minutes to finish her box and to process her feelings. She could already feel the heartbreak hitting her so she decided that the best way to defend and protect herself would be by remaining cold and strong. So when came the moment for her to go downstairs and meet her, Sasha tried to remain unblinking.

"Someone looks grumpy today", Cameron said in a teasing tone and smiled as Sasha walked past her to go behind the counter.

"Nah. Just tired", Sasha simply said and started moving stuff around to act as if she was putting some order. Anything to prevent her feelings from getting the best of her.

"You didn't get much sleep last night?", Cameron asked in her worried voice.

"Same as usual", Sasha shrugged and squarely spun around, avoiding Cameron's look by any mean.

"I never noticed you had a tattoo", she said in an enthusiastic tone.

"I have three", Sasha retorted blankly. In any other case, she would have told Cameron about them. But she was petrified.

"Can you show me?", Cameron asked excitedly.

"No", Sasha answered a bit too harshly.

It was breaking her heart to be so mean and curt with Cameron, but the pending bomb that was threatening to explode in her face was scaring her. She was anticipating a pain so deep, so harrowing, that her defense mechanism was to push Cameron away and put up high walls. She had used the same strategy after her father's disappearance so she intended to repeat the process and try not to let the upcoming rejection hit her too hard.

"Sasha", she heard Cameron call but didn't react. If she looked at Cameron, she would either cry or scream. And she didn't want any of that to happen.

Even when she heard footsteps approaching her, she didn't react. Even when Cameron called her name again, she didn't react. She only reacted when she felt Cameron's hand on her waist, making her step away from her and spin around to keep a look over Cameron's actions.

"Hey, are you okay?", Cameron asked in a low voice and took a small step forward, making Sasha take one backwards.

"Yeah I'm fine", she mumbled and looked behind her to lean back against the counter, creating even more space between them.

"Did anything happen? It's obvious that you're upset about something. I'm here if you need to talk, you know that."

"Just say it and go already", Sasha snapped and finally dared looking at Cameron, her green eyes displaying confusion and hurt.

"I don't...", she shook her head slightly. "I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm really lost right now."

"I'll make the job easier for you then. You don't like me, your feelings got mixed up and you realized you liked that guy instead. That's cool. Good for you. If you're happy I'm happy."