Reality of Yearning (GxG)

32. Fear

Every time her mother reached a low phase, Sasha became worked up and naturally anxious. Her mother's condition became her top priority and only concern as she knew she was in constant danger as well. For that reason, Sasha needed to be fully alert at all times if she wanted to protect both of them.

In order to accomplish that, Sasha needed to make herself available, to put her life on pause, and to dedicate herself to her mother's well being. In other words, Sasha had no other option but to ask Bernadette for a day off and tell Cameron they wouldn't be able to see each other until Nicole got better. Although it broke her heart, Sasha had to make the small effort of missing Cameron for a little while in order to take care of her mother.

It was barely the afternoon and Sasha was already exhausted from her sleepless night and relentless morning. Her mom had been up all night chasing invisible shadows and pretending to be a fancer. After that, Nicole was convinced that the flat was haunted and that the only possible outcome was to set the building on fire so that the ghosts could definitely be sent to hell. Sasha was having a tough day that neither Dr Schumer's help nor Cameron's love texts could improve.

Although the latter did allow Sasha to smile throughout the day.

She truly missed Cameron. She missed her kisses, her beautiful green eyes, her shiny smile, and her body. For an instant, Sasha immersed herself in the night they had shared again. She remembered the softness of Cameron's skin. The timbre of her moans. The sharpness of her teeth as they bit into her shoulder. The tremendous sensation of her glistening moistness.

For an instant, Sasha forgot about her mother and focused on her lover, wondering when she'd have the privilege of being intimate with Cameron again. When she'd get the chance to see her. When she'd have the opportunity to hold her close and kiss her plump lips so much that she'd grow tired of it.

Sasha - I miss you so much
Sasha - I can't wait to see you

Cam - Don't tell me that cause I'll show up at your door in ten minutes

Sasha - I've been dreaming about it

Cam - I'll see what I can do

Sasha - I can't receive you with my mom in that state I'm sorry

Cam - You can't even come downstairs for five minutes?

Out of instinct, Sasha glanced at her mother and then at Dr Schumer. He would be leaving soon so if she wanted to see Cameron, it had to be now. Without further thinking, she gave Cameron the green light and asked her to send a message once she was there.

"I forgot to give you the mail, Sasha. I collected it on my way up", Dr Schumer informed her as he looked through his briefcase. At the sight of the small stack of paper, Sasha thought choking.

"That's nice of you. Thank you", she said politely while reaching for the pile.

Bank statement. Phone bill. Advertising for additional healthcare cover. Grocery flyer.

Announcement.

Jules and William are tying the knot.
It would mean the world for the couple if you attend the wedding.
Saturday, February 14, 2019.
St Cloud, Minnesotta.

Her first reaction was to laugh grudgingly. Then came anger. Disbelief. Anger. Melancholy. Gloom. Anger again. Although it maddened her to experience this rollercoaster of feelings, Sasha knew she had to let the news sink in before she could digest it and put it aside. She knew she'd end up not giving a shit about this wedding. She knew she'd eventually go back to forgetting about her father. She simply needed some time.

"Nice picture", her mother's voice startled her. When she met Nicole's look, it was almost as if the illness had disappeared.

"Forget it, Mom. It was very disrespectful of him to send an invitation", Sasha said composedly before sliding the invitation card back in its envelope.

"You want to go, don't you?", Nicole asked in an accusing tone.

"No", she simply answered and stood up from her chair, wanting to put some order before changing her clothes before Cameron's arrival.

By the time Sasha received Cameron's text, she was still arguing with her mother over the wedding invitation. Sasha understood why her mom was feeling betrayed and depressed but what she could not understand was the persecution. No matter what she did, no matter what she said, no matter what happened, her mother took it as a personal attack and made her pay the consequences.

This time, the announcement sent Nicole in such state of anger and hysteria that neither she nor Dr Schumer knew how to control her. Sasha would have texted Cameron to ask her to wait for her but the urgency of the situation was occupying her mind and body. While trying to think of a way to bring her mother back to reason, Sasha was also dodging the items that were thrown her way and hiding behind the furniture to avoid being too visible and touchable.

The only time she tried to peak over the back of the couch, Sasha immediately plunged to the floor to let the couple of plates her mom had thrown fly over her head. The first plate ended up breaking the window, while the other two just flew right through it. Realizing that it should have been her face instead of that glass window, Sasha instantly stood up and, from the top of her lungs, begged for her mother to stop what she was doing.

The few seconds of silence and misunderstanding allowed Dr Schumer to take a hold of Nicole and to accompany her to the bedroom. The slam of the door was followed by a thump, Sasha's body having dropped to the ground like a dead donkey. She could feel her phone buzzing in her coat but she didn't have the strength to pick up. All her energy was being consumed by a single feeling.

Fear.

For the first time, Sasha genuinely felt scared for her life. Even though she had given everything to help her mother, she came to the conclusion that it'd never be enough. There would always be more assaults, more death threats, more fights, and more treatments that only made things worse for both of them.

Loud banging coming from the door interrupted Sasha's trail of thoughts. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, but when she discovered the beautiful figure standing behind the door, Sasha couldn't hold her tears any longer. So she let herself be comforted by her brunette and kept her face burried in her neck, hoping the magnificent smell of Cameron's fragrance would take her mind away.

"Get me out of here. I'm really scared, Cam", she managed to croak out in a wavy voice, hoping her lover could find a way to help her.

"Are you hurt somewhere?", Cameron asked nervously as she pushed Sasha back a little in order to scan her quickly.

"Please", Sasha breathed out and simply looked into her favorite green eyes, hoping they'd sense how much she needed to leave the place.

Without further words, Sasha was pulled into the apartment and instructed to gather her essential belongings. At this stage, Sasha didn't even care about Dr Schumer or her mother. The only thing she had in mind was to grab a bunch of clothes and follow Cameron to a place where she could feel safe.

"Don't put too much thought into it. Take what you can and you'll use my stuff", Cameron said softly as she wrapped her arm around Sasha's waist to start guiding her towards the door.

Although she wasn't sure if going to Cameron's place was the brightest of ideas, Sasha knew they didn't have any other option. At least she knew her way around the apartment and she would be with Cameron. Which was all she needed.