Or So I Thought

Plane Ride Part 2

Authors note:

Hey guys so how are you! Well it looks like I'll be updating twice in 2 days maybe three times in 2 days! Haha your welcome guys! And I really want to get more votes and reads.. I think that I'm gonna do that thing that the other authors do where they say 2 more likes and comments for the next chapter and as the story gets more popular it increases.. I may not tho.

-Jayme

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Chapter 4:

Hayes's pov:

I tired to think that it wasn't real and that is was just my imagination when I would look at her wrist.

I didn't know what I was thinking but I moved my hand along all of her cuts... Feeling the bumps one by one, some scabbing and some brand new.

She moved her arm, looked at me, then her arm, and then back at me again.
Worry and fear took over her face and a slightness of pain.

She stood up and ran to the air port tiny bathroom with tears forming in her eyes.

I didn't realize this was real until I watched her run down the plane to the bathroom.

I stood up and walked calmly as I could to the bathroom.

I knocked on the door lightly and said warmly "Can you please come out, we can talk.. You can trust me."

I even tried to convince myself that she could trust me, but she probably never would after what I did to her, but if she did it would take a lot for me to convince her.

"Hayes you really think I can trust you." She said sternly like she was my mom.

"Well you probably don't but I promise you can trust me."

"I want to trust you but I just can't, I can try." She told me.

I sighed "well can you at least come out of the bathroom there's a line."

I heard a click and she stepped through the doorway.

We walked back to our seats and sat down obviously.

"Are you ok?" I asked.. Really stupid question I know.

"No Hayes, I'm not okay, my life is a mess.. My brothers hate me, my mom is dead, my dad always takes Taylor and Matts side and I'm just a fail at everything."

"Your not a fail." I said trying to convince her. But it probably wouldn't work.

"Yea I am Hayes.. Look at me, I'm fat pathetic and I'm no where near as good as my brothers. And I have a whole bunch of cuts and scars all over my arms. It's so bad. I really am just a fat slut like that girl from that milkshake place." She told me, guilt washed over my whole body and I got all tense inside. She was crying and it broke my heart, honestly I love her, im young but I lover her.

Questions ran through my head.. Was I the cause of her hating herself? Am I the reason she is suicidal? How could I do that? Etc.

"Listen Addison I'm so sorry about what happened last year, I wish I could tell you why I did that but I can't if I told you why he would hate me forever. I really liked you and I still do but you probably will never believe my excuse even though it's the truth.." I told her 100% truthfully.

"Hayes that makes no sense, if you liked me you would tell me what really happened."

"I knew you wouldn't understand." I told her.

"What do you mean. I really like you and you like me just tell me the truth." She said with eagerness.

"I can't." I snapped. She stopped crying.

"Fine, but I know you will eventually tell me if you love me, so you claim."

Ugh she is pissing me off now. God why can't she just accept my apology and leave it at that.

What am I saying? I'm just being a dick now, I shouldn't expect her to not be mad at me.

I treated her so wrong and see how it resulted. I cha be such a jerk sometimes.

Sometimes when I am really into a girl I don't know how to express my feelings, and the girl I like just so happened to be my best friends sister and they hated eachother so it resulted to this.

Why do I always have relationship problems?

I looked back at her and she fell asleep, so peaceful, so normal.

She didn't look like a girl who hated herself, harmed herself, a girl with depression, and anxiety.

I didn't realize how many things she had wrong with her until I thought about them all.

I was gonna help her, make her love herself again make he love life again, bring her back to the days when only coloring in the lines mattered, when it didn't matter what anyone else thought of you. And you could be you.

Addisons pov:

I woke up with my head on Hayes shoulder and his head on mine, both of us underneath a warm cozy blanket.

I decided to just sit there until he woke up, and enjoy his warmth.

I layed on his shoulder thinking about everything.

Like, why I hate myself..

I guess it started when I was about 10. I didn't cut, I don't think I even knew what that was, I just had thoughts like.. "Would anyone care if I died?" Or "why does my family hate me?" "What would happen if I just died? Would anyone care?"

Then about a year later my doctor diagnosed me with anxiety.

I didn't know what it meant so I looked it up, then it said stuff about depression.

So I looked up depression too and everything it said fit me.

I wanted to just give up on life.

Then when I was 12 my twin taylor just stopped talking to me, before we were 11 we hand an amazing relationship.. I don't know what happened.

I was taking out if my thoughts by the lady speaking through the speakers.

"Good morning passengers. We will be arriving at North Carolina in 1 hour." She spoke with no emotion.

Hayes squirmed then opened his eyes.

His raspy voice said "good morning babe."

"Good morning.. Wait did you just call me babe?"

"Ye-yes I'm so so-sorry." He strutted.

"It's fine Just don't tell my brother he would hate me even more and he would be really mad at you." I informed him.

"I know." He replied

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Authors note:

hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote Rae dans comment this chapter. And next chapter.. So have some really good ideas planned soon!! Bye guys! I worked hard i this chapter so I really do hope you enjoyed it!

-Jayme 💕