11:11 (a larry fanfiction)

Chapter 40

-Louis' P.O.V-

I screwed it all up. I shouldn't have said that to Harry, my head was all messed up. I couldn't let him slip away. Our daughter was lost and the only person I had, the only person I could trust completly was Harry, the love of my life. 

Running upstairs to find Harry, all the lights were turned off. I knocked on the door but it was locked.

"Harry open up." I kept knocking.

"Open up!" 

What was he doing in there? I kicked the door with all the power I had in me and it fell to the floor. 

Dark. It was dark in here. But at the end of the room I could see a dim light. The bathroom. It was coming to the bathroom.

"Why the fuck are you sleeping?! Our daughter is lost!" I yelled. I kept shaking him so that he would wake up. My hand, now on his shoulder was shaking him. 

This couldn't be happening. I took a note he had on his chest. 

"I just want to make you happy."

no.nO.NO. I stepped back as fast as I could and my knees were on the floor. I couldn't cry. I couldn't scream. I couldn't feel anything. 

Punching myself as hard as I could to wake up from this dream and turning back to realize it wasn't, was... horryfing. He was gone. Oh my God. I ran out of the room and punched the wall. I ran downstairs and I threw everything that came up in front of me. 

Smashing the mirrors, throwing down coffee tables. My hands were shaking, it was too much to bare. 

Once again I fell on my knees, buried my head into my hands and screamed to the top of my lungs. 

This was so cruel and unfair! We had a future together, how could he let it all go, for just one word. This was a tremendous shock. The more I thought about it, the heavier I breathed, the more I felt as if I was slipping away. I should just take the other pills left and go away with him. Maybe be happy forever. Our daughter was gone. The love of my life was gone. Why live? What's the point of life anyways? You just live a hurtful life and then...die. It's so pointless. Life is just a beautiful lie and death... death is the painful truth.

And right there, on the floor heart-blood leaked from my face. From my eyes and my nose and my mouth. Not tears, because those would never stop. This was just liquid heart-break seeping from my pores.

I loved him so much. I couldn't accept the fact he was dead. I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have waited to tell him how much I loved him or cared about him because now that he's gone, no matter how loud I shout and cry, he won't hear me anymore. I should've grabbed him and I should've kissed him right there. I should've said sorry. This was so scary. It was my fault. Louis, you can't turn back time. This is the present. It's your fault. Harry was the kind of lover God gave you young, i will know loss for the rest of my life. The rest of my life probably only thirty more minutes.

I can't blame myself, I can't regret a thing because at that time it was exactly what I wanted. At least that's what people say. But if I had known one hour ago, what I know now, I never would have wanted it in the first place.

Suddenly the doorbell was ringing and I didn't even have the power to get up. 

"Come in!" I yelled.

"Hey Lou guess who i fo-" 

It was Zayn. He stopped talking once he entered and had seen the mess I had made. 

"What's going on in here!?! Where is Harry? What happened?"

Nicole was in his hands. So pure. So delicate. I hated her. It was her fault. She was the reason why Harry was dead.

No wait. What the fuck was wrong with me? Blaming a poor innocent infant for my doing. I was sick. Mentally sick. How could I blame her, when the only person to blame was me? I told him to make me happy and kill himself, and he did. "I just want to make you happy." It felt as if I could hear him say it. I could hear his voice. I could see him.

"Louis! Did you have a fight with Harry again." I nodded slowly.

"Worse." i whispered.

"What could possibly worse."

"Ha...Harry... Harry killed himself Zayn. Harry's dead."