self control ; quackity x reader

part 6

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dear diary,
is this what love is supposed to feel like?
every time i see him i feel frozen in my tracks like i'm unable to move; unable to breathe. the only thing i can do is stare at his breathtakingly pretty little face. we've been best friends for a couple years, yet, it feels like i've met a whole new side of him. he's not just the friendly goofy kid i had first met in class. he's so much more. i love everything about him; from the cute constellations of small freckles and beauty marks on his face to the way he looks down and smiles when he gets embarrassed.
sometimes i'll find myself zoning out and just admiring him.
he looks after me. i love it when he holds my hand and squeezes it to reassure that everything is okay. i love it when he pulls me closer to him during our late night hangouts when we're drunk on tiredness and blabbering about nonsense.
i think i love him.
i think i love him and not just as a friend.
i think i might love alex.
oh god, what do i do?

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dear diary,
i can feel him fading away. it hurts to see him look away and not look back. it hurts to realise that after all these years we've ended up growing apart rather than growing closer. i miss him so much. even though he's still there, HE isn't. what happened to the boy i used to know?
we still hang out with aksel but it's like he fucking hates me with every part of his being. he doesn't talk to me anymore - not like we used to.
my heart hurts so much.
why did my heart have to choose him?

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two separate entries from y/n's diary :)
these are so short and they suck, sorry ahahagdgsv

anyways, sorry for not publishing
i've had this one in my drafts for a while and was planning to release it along with the next part but i'm struggling a little with that one so, here is this one anyway!

also, thanks for 100 reads! last time i published, i was at like 32 lol so thanks babes - i'll try to finish the next part soon! <3