Remember Us // Byler

But Max...

The crumpled ruffed scrapes of the paper wind through my hands and I cling to it trying to decide whether to tare it open to expose the contents but I digress. It fumbles through my hands while a cold draft brushes up the back of my neck which shakes me to look up from my trance. I see Max. She stares with her crystal eyes and a slummed expression. Her steps towards me aren't sudden and are much paced. The draft around me speeds up and I squeeze the paper in my fingers clingy to its every shed. As she inches closer I turn back to the paper and shove it back in my pocket. Hoping that she never saw what I was holding. If she did the questions would come rolling out as to what it was too which Will had no answer for. How could he explain where it came from let alone who gave it to him and what it was about? He didn't know himself but his incline was telling him it had to be something about Mike. Who else could it be about? Stephan knew that he liked someone else and that was the reason he objected to the kiss that faithful night. Sometimes he thinks back and wonders what would have happened if he did kiss him. If he never pulled back and gave into his urges, his wants but he didn't. Why didn't he again? Oh, yeah. It was because he was still head over heels for his best friend, his best friend who he never saw for nearly a year, his best friend who ignored him for a girl, for a girl. I was stupid. I could've had everything I wanted with the gender I wanted. I could've had a boyfriend or at least a first kiss. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted- want- Mike. It's always been Mike and I know this. I've always known it. Every decision and choice I have ever made was for him. For his stupid yet addicting smile that shoots shivers down my spine, the ruffled messy curls of his hair that always clouds his vision,  his tall and skinny frame that used to tower over me but doesn't anymore. His jokes, his stubbornness, his overwhelming sense of dependence and the way he wears his heart on his shoulders. Everything about him from good to bad makes me shiver my whole body and just as my mind begins to trail off I see Max's converse in my vision.

After a few minutes of Max just standing there I finally look up to her tangerine locks flowing down and waved by the wind and she just looks at me. No expression is consumed by her face and she tugs at her lime green shorts looking as awkward as I am feeling. She has to know. There is no way she is still oblivious. I mean his confession to her and Mike's breakdown. It was almost too obvious at this point. I trace my back pocket top check if the crumpled paper still remains and a sigh of relief escapes my mouth once I realise that it is still there. It still exists. All of this is happening. Everything that happened actually happened. He's still a freak of nature, he is still pending over his best friend, and I am still Will.

She finally releases the grasp from her shorts and lets out a small sigh before deciding what she is going to say, and finally says.

"Will I-" she pulls back once I stare at her and our eyes meet, this time she tugs at her top and takes a breath before continuing. She knows... she must. "Sorry that- I am sorry for- um... Lucas"

"Why he didn't do anything to me" she tilts her head and shakes it.

"No- no... I meant that as like-" she looks to the sky searching in the fading daylight for an answer, for a way to continue. "He was just... out of line."

"What I-" and she cuts me off continuing her train of sentences that follow.

"He shouldn't have said those things to Mike. He shouldn't have let him go off or make him upset or just say those things afterwards or made him feel bad for the way he feels about yo-"she grabs her mouth in her hands and cuts off what she was going to say. But I heard it clearly "He shouldn't have said those things to Mike. He shouldn't have let him go off or make him upset or just say those things afterwards or made him feel bad for the way he feels about you. "I feel my whole body turn into jelly and my face uncontrollably blushes at this revelation. What did Max mean? What does Mike feel? Why was he upset?