Remember Us // Byler

Sunshine

I look to the clock dangling above the breakfast bar and tap my fingers on the table where me, Max, Lucas and Dustin sit. It's currently 9:23am and the day is already dragging in. I didn't want to come today but Max insisted. She said don't worry I doubt Mike will even come today. Though Max was probably right I couldn't ignore the pit in my stomach and overwhelming pressure that something was wrong. I look over across the table to see Lucas and Dustin bickering over something, I am too lazy to even pay attention. We are in a booth near the back of the diner; Dustin sits across from me, then next to him are Lucas, then Max and then me. Max is drinking a tall glass of strawberry milkshake. She didn't order it, no, in fact Lucas bought it for her to make up for their fight yesterday. Though seeing them handheld as we turned up here already made it clear to me that they were over whatever fight they had. Max however would never say no to a free shake and so she took it smugly smiling at me. We haven't spoken about our talk since yesterday, apart from Max telling me Mike won't show up. Everything seems normal... well, it is obvious no one wants to recant what happened but I fear if we do it will only cause more fighting and confusion which I have already done a lot of on my own. I am still taping the table as my heart beats fast. My brain doesn't stop thinking about what happened yesterday with Mike. Why was he so upset? The way he looked at me, with those big brown eyes, filled with tears, the freckles that devoured his face and the light shining across him so delicately. He was broken...and I did nothing. Not only did I do nothing I looked away. I didn't even ask if he was okay. I just. I knew he wasn't which is why I never asked... I guess.

The speed of me tapping my fingers speeds up rapidly as I continue to drift off wondering if Mike will come, if he will ever speak to me again, if he hates me, if he is upset, if he-

"Hey" I shake and turn to see Max looking at me concerned, I nod but look over at the others, they haven't noticed like Max has. In fact they are still bickering. "Will don't worry please" she smiles and gives me a supportive nod. Though I return the smile I still am fixated on the clock. Watching it tick down every second. Every time it does I sink lower in my seat. What is even more infuriating is that I can't see the door. I am facing the other way from it and maybe that's a good thing so I can't spy on that also. As I see the clock about to move to 9:27, I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, not painful but alarming. My skin begins to creep and the world seems to shake. I look to the clock once more tik tok tik tok watching the small hand tik tok tik tok. Hair at the back of my neck sticks up and I hear the familiar sounds. The ones I used to hear every night, it scares me, and I am sat rooted in my seat, not able to move. It's like I am experiencing sleep paralysis except this time I am not sleeping, no, I am undeniably wide awake. I shut my eyes as the all too familiar screams flood my brain. I try to block them out, repeatedly mouthing stop under my breath and silently hoping someone will hear my cries. The screams get alarmingly louder and my hands start shaking even more now that the atmosphere has gone cold and oddly quiet. I no longer hear my friends arguing and Max slurping her sweet drink. All I can hear now is the screams. Terrified I don't open my eyes, I cannot, the world around me has vanished and my breathing rapidly picks up. Suddenly, a familiar ding shakes me out of this trance. I see all three members looking at me concerned, Max has both her hands on my shoulders shaking me as Dustin and Lucas had confused expressions plastered on their face,

"Will! Will! What the hell?!" Max says still shaking me to see if I was awake.

"Max I- I think-" just as that Mike and El come up to the booth next to us. Shit. Max eases away from me and slips back into her space with now her empty milkshake cup. She shoots a look at Lucas and Dustin daggering them not to bring it up and silently they agree. Still shaken at the whole experience I quickly excuse myself and head to the bathroom, making no eye contact with Mike at all. I cannot face him right now. Not like this.