believe || madderton

11. back home

I woke up in a hospital. I scented the fresh smell of the clean bed linen and took a few deep breathes. I was covered in a warm blanket and never wanted to leave this place again. On the chair next to me, I noticed Richard's sweater that I wore yesterday. The thought of him and the moment were he handed me the sweater, kissed me and told me that he loved me, brought tears in my eyes. I reached out and pressed the piece of clothing against my chest. A few tears fell down and wet spots formed on the fabric. At that moment the door of my room opened and my mum entered. I quickly wiped the tears away and tought of something to say. What do you say to someone that you've been telling you're okay and then has to visit you in the hospital? She sat down next to me and took my hand in hers. I smiled weakly, still with the sweater in my other hand. Then after a long silence, she said with a trembling voice: "What happened, Taron?" I took a trembling breath and stared out of the window, as if I didn't have to answer when I didn't look at her. Then I lowered my gaze and sighed. "I don't know..." My voice was shaky and hoarse. I could see the agony in her eyes and hated myself for causing her so much grief. I finally looked at her. "I'm sorry mum." She moved closer to me and said. "Taron, please. Tell me what happened." I wanted to tell her, but something held me back. I looked at her and shook my head in desperation. "Where's dad?" She straightened up and sighed. "He is staying in a hotel. When you were gone for two days and you didn't return, he said, he'd go back to Europe, but I asked him to stay. Not with us, but at least in the city... Taron he's your father. I know you hate it, but it is how it is." I nodded. Although I still didn't like him, I felt that I was ready to at least talk to him. Now that I thought about it, I didn't really understand why I didn't return home. Even though, I still wanted to avoid Richard, I was sick of living on the street. I wanted to go back home. My mum was about to get up when I murmured: "Do you love him?" Although I knew that she did, I wanted to know if she knew aswell and was ready to admit it. She sighed, sat down again and looked at me with guilt in her eyes. "Would you hate me if I did?" My eyes widened and I looked at her in shock. "Of course not. I would never hate you, mum. Don't ever say something like this again." She smiled shyly and then nodded. "Yes...I love him." I smiled too and squeezed her hand. "Okay, I'll talk to him. I mean, everybody deserves a second chance." I saw tears welling in her eyes. But this time, they were tears of joy.

On the next day, the nurses told me, that I could go home again and as I was waiting outside for my mum, I saw her car pulling in and a big smile appeared on my face. While we were driving home, I had to remind myself not to think about Richard for one moment. For now, I had to concentrate on my family. As we arrived at home, my mum told me, that my father was already waiting for us. I nodded and took a deep breath.

It felt good being back home, although I was a bit afraid of what was gonna follow. I entered the living room and closed my eyes for a second, then I saw my dad sitting at the table and getting up as he noticed us. He stopped right infront of me and I observed, that he wasn't much taller than me anymore. I cleared my voice and then said with a weak smile on my face: "Hi, Dad.." He looked as uncomfortable as I felt and we sat down at our table. Then he started right away: "Taron, I'm sorry. For everything and I know, that an apology is no use to you, but I need you to know how sorry I am." I nodded and before I could say something, he continued: "I know now, that leaving you was the stupidest thing I ever did. From the moment on I was gone, I regretted it, but I couldn't find the courage to go back. I never stopped loving you and your mum. And I never stopped caring about you. But back then, I was afraid of being in a commited relationship with a kid, I was young and overstrained with all this responsibility. I don't ask you to forgive me or to understand why I did what I did, but please give me a second chance. Let me prove to you, that I mean it this time." I nodded again and then turned to my mum. "What do you say?" She just shrugged her shoulders and said: "You know how I feel Taron." I turned back and then said to my father: "I hope you can understand, that right now I'm just not ready to forgive you, but I will give you a second chance. My mum loves you and I trust her." With a relieved smile on his face he stood up and hugged me. I laughed shyly and finally wrapped my arms around him. It felt good having a real family.