H E R...

Chapter 1: 𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓈𝓁𝑒𝓎

*Knock knock knock*
"Paisley sweetheart, it's time to get up and get ready for school." I heard my mom calling from outside my bedroom door. I hated that. It's enough I have to wake up at six-thirty everyday.

"Ughh, alright momma." I snarled back. I loved my mom but we didn't have the "best" mother-daughter relationship. Getting out of my bed, I walked over to the double-glass window that displayed the early morning sun. Stretching and absorbing the heat from the sun in the mornings gave me hope of a great day. But most days, it was the complete opposite.

     After spending about an hour showering, doing my hair and getting dressed, I was ready to get the last week of finals finished. School was never a problem for me, I've always been fairly smart. Hence me having gotten three acceptance letters from some of the best schools; Harvard, Spelman, and Princeton. Of course being the beautiful black queen I am, Spelman seems like the obvious choice. However, my dream of becoming an attorney had Harvard calling my name. I mean it makes sense right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. My mom on the other hand doesn't agree with me leaning towards Harvard. Whatever. She will just have to accept it. I never really understood why she kept insisting on Spelman. Harvard is a prestigious institution, she should be elated about my deciding to go there.

On my way out, I caught a glimpse of myself in my full body mirror and man was I beautiful. Natural dark brown hair that flowed down to the middle of my back. Pretty chinky dark brown eyes, full lips, mocha skin that glowed; could be the sun in the morning. Last but not least, my petite body and perfect breast size. GOD! was I gorgeous. Sad thing is, I hid how beautiful I was. Never really allowing people to see what I see. I hid myself underneath the oversized clothes and I never wore make-up. Well not a full face of it at least and here I am eighteen years old. I'm not even attending my own prom. I have my reasons, demons I wasn't quite ready to face yet however.

     "PAISLEY! Let's go!" I heard my mom yell from downstairs, startling me out of my own thoughts. I grabbed my book-bag and headed downstairs completely avoiding any eye contact with my mom. As we drove towards my high school which was only ten minutes away, my mom did what she did best.

"So Paisley, have you thought about what we discussed?" she asked in her quite stern tone which in other words she was asking have I agreed to what we talked about.

"No ma, I haven't completely made up my mind. Spelman is a great school and I'm all here for it being a HBCU. But Harvard would benefit my future in wanting to become a lawyer." I stated trying to sound strong minded and confident in my words. To no avail.

"Yes I get this dream you have but honey you have to look at other things like tuition, scholarship programs, etcetera. An HBCU would be more help to someone in your position more than some ivy league privileged school whose only real interest are in rich white kids." She scoffed. Feeling like this would go no where I did what I did best now. I said nothing.

I have always tried to refrain from going into long drawn out discussions with my mom. They never went anywhere productive and it put more strain on our already complicated relationship. Sometimes I wanted so bad to fix things with my mom, but it just never seemed to be any opportunity for it.

I've never been so relieved to make it to school before. Just to end this short but long drive of awkward silence.

"Paisley sweetie, please just think about what I said. I know I haven't made the best decisions by you, but I fe—"