H E R...

Chapter 11: 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒪𝓌𝑒 𝑀𝑒

     Here I was, walking across the stage yet again accepting my bachelors degree in Pre-Law. It was such a bitter sweet moment. Almost five years ago I was walking across a stage very similar to this accepting my diploma. Only difference is, I didn't see my mother's face in the crowd. I almost cried at the thought.

I would do anything to have her here today. It was a rough past school year. By the grace of God I was able to maintain my grades. But that was about it. I even had to drop some more classes each semester which delayed my graduation even further. It was just too much to handle and grieving my mother everyday did not help as much. Thanks to the anonymous foundation that funded the rest of my education due to being aware of my situation. Which I still didn't understand how, but I was grateful. I was even more grateful for choosing to move into the student apartment by myself. It had its pros and cons though.

I didn't talk to Shyann as much as I did at the start of the year. I really didn't talk to anyone. It was just class, home, exams, law school applications and crying. That's all I did everyday this past school year.

After accepting the blank rolled up paper from our dean and shaking his hand, I walked off the stage wondering what's next. I knew I couldn't afford law school. No matter how many applications I submitted I knew getting financial assistance would be hard but I made up my mind I would try. I know my mom would have wanted me to try. I had a few academic scholarships and award letters for my performance from my years here that I can start with. But then what? I'm sure I won't get as lucky again.

I didn't bother going to the graduation party that night. Even though Shyann found me in the crowd after the ceremony telling me how proud she was of me and that she loved me. She tried to convince me to go but she knew me better than that. Before leaving she told me my mom was proud and that she was watching today.

It took everything in me not to break down and cry. I just thanked her and told her I loved her and headed back to my apartment. After stopping to collect the mail, I headed upstairs. Once inside I looked around my apartment and just broke down right there. This was me almost everyday this past week. At some point I thought my grieving would be over but.. everyday it haunts me that I never really got the chance to really forgive her. Now with graduation being over and not having her here, it has been just as hard as when she first passed. I cried all night until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next day, the sun was shining brighter than usual. Part of me felt it was my mom. Telling me it's going to be ok. After taking a quick shower and brushing my teeth then hair, I sat on the couch going through the mail I brought in yesterday.

One envelope stood out from the rest. It had my name on the front. No address or information on who sent it. I figured it was from one of my professors. I opened it to find a hand written letter and realized immediately that it was not from my professors.

"Dear Paisley,

I want to first off say, my deepest condolences for your mother. I understand that this is a difficult time and by the time you receive this letter I would have hope that it has become a little more easier on you. I won't say too much but I am the anonymous benefactor who aided in the assistance of your school fees. I want to make it abundantly clear that I did not do this with the intention on receiving anything in return, other than your company. I thought it would be best to keep my identity private due to certain circumstances. But if you don't mind, I would like for you to come to California this upcoming weekend.

I understand where you may have reservations, but as a thank you for my generosity, I would certainly expect that you would like to show your appreciation in person. There will be a car outside of your apartment at 10am Friday to take you to the airport and from there you'll take a private jet here to meet me. You will be accompanied by my assistant. Don't worry, he's there to assure you have a safe and comfortable journey here.