H E R...

Chapter 19: 𝒮𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈

     Look at her. Look at my babygirl. She was so damn beautiful. I loved the way she looked sleeping in my bed after I've just made love to her.

"I love you Pai." I said, speaking my true feelings.

I could never really tell her how I feel. At least not yet. I knew she was special and I've never saw her for anything less. Not going to lie, for her to be a virgin, she took it so well. The way her body responds to me, I almost shot my load twice just off watching her and feeling her. So warm and sweet.

"Damn." I said shaking my head at what just happened. I've had sex with many women. None compared to Paisley though. Maybe I could blame the feelings I have for her because those other females meant nothing to me. Whatever it was, I was damn near whipped. In my head no other man could ever feel what I just felt and I'd be damn if a man ever taste her. Nah, she's mine. I'm not letting her go anywhere. As long as she wanted to stay.

After tucking Pai in, I carefully got out of bed and left out of the room to sit out on the balcony. My mind was all over the place. My feelings were deep as hell for this girl. She just didn't even understand. She's been here a little over two months and I still want forever with her. Some part of me was actually hoping maybe once she was here, she'll decide to have nothing to do with me. It would've made it easier to tell her.

I've been contemplating on when I should express to Paisley who I really was. No time was ever right. Now that I've taken her virginity, telling her seems far more worst.

"She's going to hate me." I spoke to the wind looking up at the sky.

Maybe I was talking to myself, or maybe even God. I needed some type of advice on what to do. I wasn't a church going man, but my faith in God was stronger than most. I never really asked God for much because I had everything so I spent most times thanking him and giving him the glory. Look at the life I have. I had every reason to trust in him. I'm beyond blessed. Even when sometimes I feel I don't deserve it all. Especially not for what I did to Paisley. I had secrets, secrets that I couldn't keep from her. I owed her the truth. Shit I owed her more than that. I owed her a life. Let me start from the beginning.

* * *

      I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. Up until I was eight, I lived with my mom. I didn't come from money so she struggled raising me by herself. But I was loved dearly by my mom and older sister. Mily lived with her mom but I would go there some times while my mom worked. Thank God they got alone. Maybe since they had something in common. They both hated my dead beat of a father. Everything was good you know, even through the struggle, I was always happy. Until my mom was taken from me. She was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident. The bastard was never found. Till this day I sometimes have Jackson look into it to see if he's still out there. With nothing to go on but a license plate from over ten years ago, it's a hard search.

I had no real family besides my mom and aunt but my aunt decided she had enough kids already and I couldn't go with my sisters mom simply because she wasn't a blood relative. I was only left with my sperm donor of a father. I was surprised they were even able to find his ass. I was even more shocked when he agreed to take me. I later found out why though. Turns out my mom had taken out a small life insurance policy on herself for me and since I was only eight, it went to my father in order to take care of me. Only thing is, he received payments from it so he had to keep me in order for the checks to keep coming in.

That nigga never gave a fuck about me. He treated me like shit. He would even say,

"If I wasnt getting no money to keep your little ass, I would've been shipped you off some damn where."