J & P Book 1 - Say You Need Me

Chapter 18

She shivered, and ran from the telephone. Although her life was now much more straightforward, she was still not free of the caller.

Running upstairs, she slammed her bedroom door shut, turned on her Verve CD, and sank to the floor. How she hated Joe. Why did he still haunt her like this? Why did he do this to her? Her earlier thought that Deny was making the calls seemed less clear-cut now. Perhaps it had been Joe all along.

She stared blankly at the school photograph from her final year, which was lying on the floor. She slowly focused on Paul's face. Of course. Sometime this evening, he would be home. What had he said? His mum was picking him up after work, so it would be about seven. A smile illuminated her face.

Seeing some scissors on her sideboard, she stood up, picked them up, and cut a small heart around Paul's face, blushing with health and modesty. The way she thought of him. Just how she had fallen irretrievably in love with him.

Yes, it was an old picture. But it was a nice one. And there'd be more pictures. Like the one that Lucia had taken of them both at the hospital. Their first photograph as a couple. Paul hadn't smiled, but his smiles were precious. Jenny knew she would see enough smiles.

She opened the locket around her neck, and ripped out the photograph of Joe. Would this put an end to it all? As she removed it, she noticed a message on the back. In tiny writing.

It was Joe's handwriting. After all, he had put the photo in there in the first place.

I'm sorry if I

hurt you, Jenny.

But you will never

be safe from hurt.

The message chilled Jenny. In disgust, she ripped it in two and threw it into the dustbin. Joe had not missed a single opportunity to terrify her. Why had she clung to him for so long?

She replaced the picture with that of Paul's face. As soon as she got some time alone with him, she was going to tell him about what Joe did to her.

At the time, she didn't dare to think that what had happened between her and Joe could have been rape, but she knew now that it was. She would explain the flashbacks she had had on Friday night had been from that ordeal.

And she would tell Paul how wonderful it was that she had loved him and trusted him enough to make love to him on Sunday. And Monday.

She knew he would take it well. Some guys might be appalled knowing that they had slept with someone who had been raped without knowing it. She knew Paul would understand.

But still, she felt guilty for having broken his trust by keeping it from him. But then, she never knew what was going to happen on Sunday would happen. It was all so sudden, so smooth, and so unstoppable.

She would tell him as soon as she could. She trusted him totally.

She gazed at Paul's picture, now sitting in the locket. Much better. It seemed that it belonged there. In her heart.

"I love you, P," she whispered.