So-li-va-gant ~Latin
Someone who wanders or travels the world alone; a solitary adventurer.
Following seasons 1-3 of Supernatural.
Book One of the Solivagant series.
🥇 in bobbysinger 06/04/2020
#16 in teamfreewill 06/04/2020
#16 in angels 09/03...
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"You guys look buried."
"Never too buried for you darling."
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Hunters don't consider burials. More often than not burials lead to woken spirits. Spirits that cling to their bodies and cling to this Earth instead of passing on. Instead they're given Hunter's funeral. The body is wrapped and burned on a pyre until they're nothing more than ash and burnt wood. Nothing for our spirits to cling to because we know better. Watching John's wrapped body burning on the pyre of wood I can't help but think of what he told me. Eleanor, I could've lost both your girls or I could save you. I would rather you alive and pissed at me than dead. It's only as I watch John's body burn to ash that I think about how I didn't hate the man. I hated what he did.
Honestly it's only thanks to Sam that I'm stood here with them in the forest. In spite of the fuss Dean kicked up about John not wanting me here Sam argued for me. "Dad cared about her just as much Dean!" Sam had snapped and yelled at him as the pyre was built "Quit complaining and let her stay!"
Safe to say Dean didn't appreciate it. From the way I watch him gaze silently at John's burning body I know part of that anger is aimed at me just as mine has been for the past six years. The thanks he got? You picked up and left even when he told you to stay. You hotwired a car and sped out of dodge quicker than a bat outta hell. Rolling my bottom lip mulling over his words I try to suppress my guilt for never coming back to them. I'd let my anger and hatred for myself fuel my decisions instead of letting myself move on. I'd held a grudge just because I needed someone to be responsible and since John was never around that fell onto Dean over the handfuls of times I'd crossed paths with the Winchester's.
All of two in the past six years.
Unlike his brother Sam's shaking and visibly devastated at the loss of his father. In spite of all their arguing they loved each other just as much as any father and son. The tears flood silently down his cheeks as he stands beside his unmoved brother. As the flames flicker I hear Sam choke out from the distance that I keep "Before he... before, did he say anything to you?"
