Harry had figured out his feelings for Zayn a long time ago. It was just the way every little thing reminded him of Zayn, and every time he sang a love song Zayn lingered at the back of his mind. But the distance and the constant ache and empty feeling in his heart became too much, and he moved on.
But, standing here, with Zayn in front of him, looking so different yet so familiar at the same time; looking like home, all his past feelings rush back to his heart, as if awoken from a coma.
His heart clenches.
"What are you doing here?" Harry hisses, and there's a small part — okay, maybe a huge but irrational part — that wishes Zayn is here for him.
"I got a scholarship for London School of Arts, remember? I have been in London for two months now."
And that feels like two slaps, all at once. One, because Zayn isn't there for him, after all, and two, he has been here for two months already and he hasn't even bothered informing him? Has Harry's importance in Zayn's life diminished so much?
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asks, his voice so low and so not like himself.
Zayn just shrugs in response, seeming nonchalant, and that — that feels like a fire has lighten up inside Harry, scalding away his skin and melting away his bones. It is agony.
So, Harry blinks back his tears, and does the only thing he can think of. He runs. He leaves his items and runs back to his house and up to his room, ignoring his mother and her concerned cries.
The tears come, then. He cries a river for him, makes up a whole ocean for him with his tears. And when he finally stops crying, he takes out his guitar and strums some chords, and when he gets a nice, slow tune, he scribbles down the lyrics.
Nothing lasts forever
I should have known
Broke my walls down for someone
Who climbed on and on
And when he reached the top
He added more bricks
To make it stronger
But was it for me or him?
He was too afraid to let himself in my life
So he shut himself out and called it a night
He had the key
To the door of my heart
But he was too scared to use it
He built the staircase
To the sky from the earth
But he never saw the need to climb it
And I waited and waited for him
Pushed back the darkness and my fears
I waited and waited for him
Made an ocean from my tears
But he never came...
Once Harry is done, he writes 'Made an ocean from my tears' at the top of the page because he really couldn't see anything with the way his eyes are filled with tears. Even when he tries singing it, he couldn't because he is sobbing too hard and his throat is all clogged up and it's difficult to even breath with the way his heart is clenching in pain.
He falls asleep on his desk like that, sobbing and gasping, a picture of misery.
YOU ARE READING
for your eyes only
Fiksi Penggemarzarry // discontinued Two broken teens. Two depressed lives. One wrong number that changed everything. [ WARNING : Story contains triggering themes like abuse, sexual harassment etc. ] [ STATUS : part 1, completed; part 2, discontinued ]
