Behind Closed Doors |BNHA|

\\Fall,Break,Fail|9//

The months passed by Etzumi slower than she liked, when she arrived on Karayatoshu island she was distressed, sad, angry, pissed but content all at the same time. She was doing this for her own greater good and for her families but she couldn't help the guilt for leaving Asuka behind though It wasn't something that could be helped and with the promise that Katsuki and Izuku would keep a watchful eye over her she complied with leaving. 

The first month she stuck to it, She woke up at 8 am, washed and had breakfast, and took Kiko to daycare before Hyriko would walk her to the counseling sessions. She was taking care of herself, and whenever she felt the irresistible urge to harm she would distract herself and spend time with her aunt and uncle - for whom she is forever grateful for taking them in. 

Towards the middle of January, things started to get overwhelming again, getting out of bed was a struggle, her mind plagued by nightmares, about the countless villain attacks that she went through while in 1-A, all leading back to the fateful night that changed her life. These nights left her wide awake at 3 a.m. with dark thoughts filling her head - it was another 2 weeks before she relapsed. 

"Zu, come on, talk to me" Hyriko was on the other side of her closed door, this was the third time this week that Etzumi hadn't left her room and Hyriko knew something was wrong. "Zu, come on, you are stronger than this, I know you are, this thing of your friends waiting on you, waiting for your return to school" She knew it was useless and she wasn't going to get a response but she had to try, she had done so well up until now and she couldn't figure out what had changed. 

The truth was nothing had changed but the longer Etzumi had the focus on her dark side the more it crept to the surface and retook control. Etzumi was sat with the back against the door, tears running down her face and meds in hand. They had been prescribed for her depression but they weren't helping as quickly as she wanted them to and had to fight every urge to down them all. 

"If you won't talk to me, write a letter to Bakugo or Miydoria, you don't have to send it - just get your thoughts out of your head, they do more harm than good in there" There was a sigh then footsteps echoed down the hall, she was alone again. 

But the thought lingered on her mind, write it to her friend who cared, she didn't have to actually send them a letter but spilling her problems to a friend is much easier and more casual than to a therapist. She took a look at the pill bottle in her hand and then looked at the time, 10:47 PM, she opened the bottle and took a pill out.

If she wouldn't get better for herself and didn't think her sisters need her then she would get better for the friends she knows are waiting for her. 

A smile ghosted her lips as a hand reaches up to the cheek Katsuki had Kissed.
For them she will get better - she won't let them down. Not again. Never again. 

That night she writes down all the dark thoughts as if she was talking to Izuku in one of their late-night chats,  along with casual chatter of how much she misses him and can't wait to rejoin them - she will pass her mental health check-in, in March and that is final - nothing will stop her from being with those who make her feel safe, she knows she can count on them, as shown by all the times they have had her back, be it again her demons or real ones. 

Then she writes to Katsuki, expressing how sorry she is for not telling him, for not letting him know she was hurting. After he was kidnapped they got close, trauma became a common ground for the two of them, and she saw to it that he was okay after he was rescued, she didn't want him going down the path she did. 

The small check-in became actual chats and acquaintances became friends pretty quickly, but she didn't want to come clean about her hypocrisy, how she was making sure he was stable after his trauma haunted his dreams but went back to her room to cut and struggle to keep it together. 

She expressed how she hated herself for not telling him, and even more so now he had to find out at the same time as the rest, in the panicked actions of Izuku and their Sensai.  Expressed how she would make it up to him,  how she would get stronger for him and come back to join them - making it a promise to both of them that she would rejoin in Class 2-A and beat them both with her strength and tactics because she is determined to fight her demons and win. 

The next day she woke up at 8:30, showered, brushed her teeth, and joined her family for breakfast - as much as these simple tasks pained her and her body didn't want to comply nothing was going to stop her. Her sister gave her a broad smile across the table and the Aunt and Uncle expressed that they were happy she was feeling better while Kiko tackled her in a  hug. 

That day she took her meds, took Kiko to daycare, went to counseling, and let herself speak freely about her past, it had no hold on her now, she wouldn't let it. It didn't deserve to hold her back not when she's fought so much to get what she has. 

She has been fighting for her family since that faithful day but she didn't realize she made a new one in the frenzy. she may be mending her mind but she isn't alone - she has her sisters, she has Mr. Aizawa and AllMight, and she has Izuku and Katsuki. 

But most importantly she has her willpower.
Because digging yourself out of a dark hole isn't easy but as much as her friend can try to reach in to pull her out, it won't work unless she puts in the effort too because "We Fall. We Break. We Fail" We also...

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Initial Plan:

-Though she is getting better things still are not great. she still suffers and relapses into harm but she's trying her hardest for her siblings. - she is dismissed from school for a while and she and her enrolled sisters go to Karayatoshu on one of the surrounding islands where her extended family reside to get away from the stresses and allow Etzumi to recover, remissness on the hard time's she made it through. she smiles. remembers that everyone in her class from the quiets to the rowdiest is waiting for her return, particularly remembering Bakugo's farewell and Izuku's tears.

Initial Inspiration:

"We Fall. We Break. We Fail"

Word Count: 1080