Sakimashita: Drunk On You

3

Taehyung watches silently as Yoongi and his daughter sit on the floor, opening the presents, torn wrapping strewn around. The awkwardness is not that high. Not till Yoongi's phone starts ringing and he glances back at Taehyung who is sitting on the sofa, few feet apart. Yoongi bites his lip, clearly unsure about something.

Taehyung peers at the phone's screen. Ah. Video call. He slides on the sofa to move away from the camera's view. Yoongi looks relieved. He receives the call.

"What took you so long?" He hears Namjoon's voice. Yoongi is in touch with everyone. Except for him.

"Sorry."

"Everything okay?"

Taehyung fiddles on his own phone, playing nonchalance, reclining on the sofa but can feel Yoongi's eyes on him.

"Nothing, just tired."

"Where's Minji?"

"Here. One sec." He hands the phone to his daughter. "Joon Uncle is on the call."

"Ohh."

Then the awkwardness grows as Yoongi and Taehyung sit in silence as the little girl chats away on the phone. And it grows till they hear Minji saying, "Appa's friend is here too. He-" Taehyung freezes and Yoongi snatches the phone out of her hand.

"Friend?" Taehyung hears the doubt in Namjoon's voice.

"Yeah. Are you coming in the afternoon? To Jin hyung's place?"

"I- er, not sure. Hey, Heeyeon-ah wants to wish Minji." The audio crackles and then a female voice says,

"Hello, Yoongi"

"Hello, noona." Taehyung could recognise her voice anywhere. Ex-idol Hani was really popular after all. "How're you?"

"I'm good. Thank you. How are you?"

"Good." "He's tired!" Yoongi chuckles at Joon's reply.

"Well, I'll not keep you up for too long. Where's the little princess?"

And for the second time, Yoongi hands the phone back to his daughter. Taehyung watches Yoongi watching their interaction with a smile on his face. Minji talks excitedly about all the gifts she has received already and the party at Jin uncle's place the next day.

Taehyung wonders why Minji didn't recognise him. It is both a relief and hurtful.

A few minutes later when Minji yawns, they decide to end the call. Then Yoongi turns to him.

"I'll put her back to sleep." His hands are on his sides and one of them twitches and Taehyung knows Yoongi is just as unsure he is as to what they should do next.

"I'll wait here," he says more confidently than he feels.

"Okay." He turns back to his daughter and holds her hand. "Let's go."

Taehyung slouches once he is alone and sighs loudly. His phone pings with notifications loudly. He takes a look at the screen. His manager is looking for him. He switches it off and throws it on the side. He rubs his face with his hand in irritation.

He is here now. What next?

*

"The news said you weren't in the country."

Taehyung looks up. Yoongi is standing at the other end of the sofa. "Keeping updates on me, huh?" He can't help the smirk. Shut up, Taehyung. He'll run away.

Yoongi snorts. "It's hard to miss."

That is true, Taehyung thinks. The news loves making any kind of coverage on him. "I hope it isn't just that." Stop it.

Yoongi doesn't frown or laugh at him for that. He asks instead, "Did you have dinner?"

"You can sit down. It is your place." Yoongi shakes his head but does as he said. He sits at the farthest corner. The sofa is big enough.

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Have dinner? I can reheat -"

"No, it is fine." He adds as an afterthought, "thank you."

Yoongi looks away, his eyes flitting but still not on Taehyung. The actor shifts slightly to face the musician better.

Someone has to so why not him?

So he asks, "Where were you?"

"What?"

"Where were you? After the disbandment. Where were you?" Yoongi looks at him startled. "Everyone was doing something. I went to the military. Where were you?" I searched for you everywhere.

"I," Yoongi folds his hands on his lap, "I moved to Japan."

Yoongi was close all this time. Taehyung just watches him unable to think of anything further to say. All this time he wanted to find Yoongi, see him again. He has done it. So what does he do now? His mind keeps short-circuiting. Yoongi is in front of him again. What now?

"How- how did you find me? Did Jin hyung tell you?"

Taehyung's forehead crinkles very slightly. "I am not in touch with them."

Yoongi looks at him. He opens his mouth and then shuts it away. He looks away.

"Did you - are you with someone?" He has to ask. He has to know.

Yoongi looks at him in surprise, not having expected it so soon. Taehyung watches him with bated breath as the other man wrings his hand and struggles to answer. Those seconds of silence drive him closer to madness. Taehyung thinks he won't get a reply.

"No."

"Maybe in years when I am ready and if you still want me then, I'll come back. I can't bear to be in the same room as you. I can't die a second time. There was just too much hurt, too much history I can't write off just because you, hyung suddenly have feelings for me, that now you return the feelings, just a few years delayed. Minjae has given me a chance at redemption, he has given me so much love and shown me way more respect than you, hyung, ever had and I- I - Iam not going to lose that just for you. I can't." Taehyung hadn't stopped crying as he had continued, "Most importantly, hyung, I am scared. I am scared Yoongi hyung that you will break your promise again. That you will break my heart again."

Taehyung gets abruptly off the seat and Yoongi watches him with wide eyes. He looks worried. But Taehyung doesn't walk away. He walks towards Yoongi and then slowly, very slowly, giving Yoongi enough time to process, to know what Taehyung is going to do; what he means, he sits on his knees right in front of Yoongi.

"Hyung," his chest pangs with hurt, he can say this again, "Yoongi hyung."

"Taehyung," Yoongi whispers, his voice lowers.

Taehyung looks him in the eyes, holding his gaze, holds Yoongi's hands and stops him from twisting them in anxiety. "Hyung ..." He can't help but look at the thin, pale hands and squeezes the wrists lightly.

"I missed you, hyung," he says, unable to hold it in anymore. "I miss you." He can feel Yoongi tense. He doesn't look up. "I want- I wish I could tell I don't expect anything else but just see you, be in your life again. But- I -" He closes his eyes. Why is this so hard?

A teardrop falls on their joined hands and he looks up but Yoongi beats him to whatever he was gonna do. Yoongi grabs him by the collar of the t-shirt and pulls him up and kisses him. He kisses hard. Taehyung kisses back, but his own eyes are wide with shock. They kiss till they need to push the other back for air.

"Okay," Yoongi says with a small voice, almost drowning in Taehyung's thunderous heartbeat. "Okay."