All of Me

VIII

Amaru: when can i see you again, beautiful?
Heather: idk.. I've been busy
Amaru: okay, just let me know when you're free. I'd love to take you out
Heather: sure

Amaru frowned at the message thread before putting his phone away. It has been a week since their encounter and Heather has been dodging him. Amaru was confused and he wasn't sure what the issue was, but he did plan on getting to the bottom of it.

"Nigga looking sick over there." Arman joked.

Amaru sucked his teeth. "Shut up. She's dry texting the fuck out of me."

Arman laughed. "Let me see." Amaru showed him the text messages. Arman began to laugh harder after he read them. "Damn, man. She curving the hell out of you."

"I mean—if she wants me to leave her alone then she can just say that!" Amaru exclaimed. "I'm grown as fuck and I can take rejection. I don't do this dry shit—matter of fact, hold on."

Amaru: i sense that you don't want to talk to me based off your responses. If you don't want to talk to me then just be real. We're both grown and i can handle rejection.
Heather: i don't want to talk to you.

"Damn." Arman said, looking over Amaru's shoulder. "Welp, you got your answer."

Amaru looked at him with annoyance written all over his face. "You don't make shit any better. Please shut yo ass up."

"Oh, yo feelings hurt?" Arman asked him.

"Yes, nigga! Shut up!" Amaru snapped.

Arman covered his mouth to muffle the laugh that was threatening to come out. He was the goofy one and could not take anything seriously.

"Aight, bruh. You pissing me off." Amaru warned him.

Arman sucked his teeth. "Don't get mad at me because Heather don't want you."

"Fuck you." Amaru retorted.

"Fuck you twice, nigga."

-

Amaru knocked on Mya and Shakur's door with Killian's Nike bag on his should. Killian called him and said he wanted to spend the night with his aunt and uncle.

Shakur answered the door and allowed his brother in. "He's in the living room."

Amaru nodded and walked into the living room. He became a bit flustered when he saw Heather sitting there with her son not far from her. Killian was busy watching Paw Patrol to even realize his dad had arrived.

"Kill, you leaving me hanging again?" Amaru asked as he picked him up.

"I'll be back tomorrow, daddy." Killian said as he hugged him.

"Aight, man." Amaru chuckled. "I got your stuff. You know your nighttime routine, so don't be acting brand new."

"Daddy, you're embarrassing me." Killian whispered as he gestured toward Heather.

Amaru laughed. "Aight, man. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, big head."

"I love you too, fat head." Killian got down and took the bag from his father so he could put it in the spare room Shakur and Mya had for him.

"Aight, I'll see y'all next time." Amaru announced.

"Where you going?" Mya asked.

"Uhh, home." Amaru replied.

Mya sucked her teeth. "Stay here for awhile. Let's make some margaritas."

Amaru chuckled. "Nah, I'm good. Besides, I had a full day at the shop today. I just want to relax and take some time to myself."

Mya pouted. "Okay, boo. I'll see you tomorrow." Amaru just nodded and headed out the door.

Heather sighed deeply and looked up at her friend. "I feel bad."

"Why?" Mya asked.

"He was texting me to see if he could take me out, but I was giving him dry answers. Then he said he could tell that I didn't want to talk to him, so he told me to be straight up with him and I just told him that I didn't." Heather explained.

"Heather, I understand why you're being distant, but you didn't have to do him like that. Amaru is sweet. He would've understood." Mya told her.

"I know and I do feel bad. He probably doesn't even want to talk to me." Heather said with a frown.

"Just send him a text. I'm sure he'll respond." Mya advised. "I'm about to go make us some margaritas."

Heather watched Mya walk into the kitchen before she pulled out her phone. She went to the message thread with Amaru and began to think about what she should say.

"Mama." Micah said, holding his arms up to her.

"You sleepy, papa?" Heather asked as she quickly placed her phone down and picked him up. Micah laid his head against Heather's chest and closed his eyes. All he wanted was to be close to his mother.

-

Amaru laid in his bed in the dark getting ready to doze off to sleep until he heard his phone vibrate on his nightstand. He reached over and picked it up. He was shocked to see that Heather had texted him.

Heather: I just want to apologize for what happened earlier. Are you able to talk?

Amaru placed his phone back on the nightstand and turned over to his side. He had no energy to talk and did not want to be bother. He decided to respond the next day.

Amaru can sometimes get into moods where he doesn't want to be bothered by anyone—except his son. That was the kind of mood he was in at that very minute.

It wasn't depression. He has been that way since he was a child. Sometimes he just wanted to be alone and enjoy his own company and his mother would allow him to do just that.

Big Mama was very firm about mental health and allowing her kids to express themselves. She never told the boys that crying or expressing their feelings was for the weak. If anything, it made them stronger. Big Mama made sure all three boys knew how to be not just a man, but a strong black man. Many people thought she wasn't equipped to do it because she was a woman, but the boys did have male mentors growing up and that participated in their growth.

Amaru's phone began to ring. He looked over and saw that Killian was calling through FaceTime from his iPad. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion because Killian would usually be asleep right now.

Amaru answered the call then chuckled when he saw Micah smiling on the other side of the screen. "You supposed to be sleep, ain't it? Go to your mama and them, lil man."

Amaru watched as Micah got up and carried the iPad to the living room where Mya and Heather were. "Here!" Micah said, placing the iPad between them.

"Boy, you're supposed to be sleep. Why'd you call Amaru?" Mya asked as she picked up the iPad.

"Go lay back down and go to sleep, Micah." Heather scolded. The two year old pouted and went back to the room. "I'm sorry if he woke you up." She said to Amaru.

"It's all good." Amaru replied. "About your text though—let's meet up for breakfast and talk."

"Oh—oh okay. Where?" She asked.

"I'll let you know in the morning. Y'all have a good night, okay?" The women bid him a good night and he hung up. Amaru set his phone back in its rightful place then went to sleep.

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