Switching Teams (BoyxBoy) (Completed)

What are you so afraid of?

Levi had said he came out for himself. Did he mean too force my hand and throw open my closet doors in a dramatic flare?

Can I even blame him for my coming out to my parents? I mean, him coming out to his family gave me a push off the ledge, but I could've held onto the sides until my fingers bled. I chose to let go and fall.

Maybe I just needed that push to move forward. Maybe I wouldn't have taken the leap otherwise. I like to think I would have eventually come out. That I would get to a certain point and think, this is the moment I start living as my self.

It seems like life decided that I was ready before I even realized and I can't blame Levi for an act of fate.

I check my phone for the millionth time since getting off the phone with Gunner, but there is nothing from Levi. I probably fucked everything up yesterday, so could I really expect him to reach out? If I hurt him half as much as I hurt myself, I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again.

And yet, I can't just walk away and leave everything where the pieces fell. I have to try if only enough for him to know how sorry I am for the way I acted.

I sit in my car parked a few houses down from Levi's parents. I realized that after everything that happened yesterday, maybe just showing up was a bad idea. but it's been nearly fifteen minutes and my finger still hovers over the call button.

The selfie I took of him and I as we drove around one night, staring back at me. I remember setting it as his contact picture later that night after he had dropped me off.

Levi in ​​the driver seat, eyes focused on the road as I positioned the picture. Both our smiles, not forced or posed, just the result of enjoying each other's company. It's a glimpse at what we had together. The simplicity of being with someone who sparks your mind and sets your soul on fire.

What are you so afraid of? my mind taunts as I stare at Levi's picture. The answer wasn't so simple yesterday, but today I see it clearly.

I'm afraid of exposing myself only to be laughed at and cut down. I'm afraid of getting hurt; of giving in and giving my all only to lose it and be left with nothing. but more than anything, I'm afraid to lose Levi.

I have never felt a shred of emotion like what I feel for Levi and that scares me. but he wouldn't hurt me on purpose. Everything that has happened is because of my fear.

I've hidden my true self in my fear. I stayed safely tucked into a corner where I couldn't be hurt, but I also wasn't really living. Who knows how many great things I've missed out on because I was too scared to let myself have them. But I can't let Levi be on that list.

I will not wake up however long from now, wondering about the boy that sparked my soul. Good or bad, I have to try. I have to know.

The line rings, the shrill sound causing my heart to stutter in my chest. For a brief moment, I consider hanging up, but it's too late, the caller ID would show it was me.

"Brandon?" My chest explodes in relief and my heart takes off like a rocket just hearing his voice, even if he does sound wary. It has only been a few hours since I last saw him in the locker room but I can't even put into words how much I miss him.

"Hi," I roll my eyes at my genius reply, ready to bang my head against the car door if I didn't already have a headache.

Silence screams over the line and I just don't know what to say or rather where to start. The line crackles as I think over everything that I want to say but don't know how to.

"Are you still there?" he asks, quietly and I nod even though he can't see me.

"I ... Um ..." I pause, my eyes staring at his driveway, not sure what I'm really looking for, "I need to talk to you ... in person?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he says quietly and I hear some shuffling on the other end of the line.

My heart freezes and I force my lungs to take a breath anyway, despite how much it hurts. I knew this was a possibility. That I would try and ut would be too late. Too much damage has been done. But I'm not ready to give up yet.

"Please?" desperation clear in my voice as it echos through the space of my car through the line to Levi.

It was the idea of ​​losing him that set me on this path. He never forced my hand, I chose to lay my hand out because the idea of ​​being without Levi is like being without happiness, sunshine and all the other good things in life.

"I need to talk to you and it can't be over the phone," I hear his intake of breath at my words. The hope I was holding onto taking root within me.

"Okay," My cheeks hurt from the smile that crosses my face and I want to laugh and cry of happiness at the same time, but that would be getting ahead of myself.

"Should we meet up la-"

"I'm outside," I cut him off, realizing belatedly how creepy-stalker like that sounds, but I can't think of how to fix it.

My mind literally blanks and panic starts to flood through me. But before I can say anything, Levi appears on the sidewalk in front of his house.

He stands there barefoot, in jeans and a black t-shirt looking down the street until his eyes land on my car. The line goes dead and I watch as Levi drops his phone in his pocket and takes a few steps in my direction.

My heart is slamming against my ribs, so powerfully that it's almost painful. I drop my phone on the passenger seat and slowly get out of the car, never once taking my eyes off of him. It's like I'm afraid he'll disappear if I even blink.

He doesn't move any closer. Instead, he stands there with his hands in his pocket, looking every bit the boy next store as we stare at each other.

It's a challenge, one that he won't bend on. He wants me to come to him this time. He put himself out there yesterday and I walked away. It's my turn now.

<3 <3 <3 <3