rockstar | c. baker

twelve - 12:36 am

amanda
—————

douglas and i made our way back to the hotel in a rush.

"come on, what's your room number?"
douglas asks me as we approach the elevator.

"625."
i musters out the words, still hurt from what had just happened.

"look, i know he said some hurtful shit. but you know he's not himself when he's like that."

douglas tries comforting me, but it's not helping.

i can't stop thinking about what colson said, and what i said back.

a pit in my stomach churns as i contemplate rushing back to the venue to reconcile.

"dougie, i'm sorry. for dragging you into my shit. you should be cheering on your friend at his concert."
i sigh looking up at him.

"how come you say that? you know i'd much rather be here with you."

hearing him say those words made me feel a little less guilty for being a mess right now.

finally reaching the room, i unlock the door, letting us in.

the memories of last nights events swarm my mind.

colson telling me that he loved me.

me saying i loved him back.

it was hard for me to even forget anything from last night.

but today, i wished i could forget it all.

"okay, did you want to be alone?"
douglas asks me, even though no matter what i said he'd still stay.

"you don't have to stay with me. i'll manage."
i sit down on the bed.

"look, did you really mean what you said to him?"
he asks me trying to give some advice.

shaking my head i respond, "of course not."

"alright, well i guarantee that he didn't mean shit of what he said either."

looking up at douglas with a glimmer of hope in my eyes, i think.

maybe he's right.

quickly i stood from the bed and smiled lightly at my old friend.

"thank you douglas, you're the best friend i could've asked for."
i hug him tightly.

sighing, he hugs me back, glad that i'm not upset anymore.

"i should talk to him right? tell him i didn't mean what i said. explain how i felt?"

"you should."

smiling widely i sit back down in my previous spot.

"i'm gonna wait until after his show, when he gets back up here. then i'll talk to him."
i explain to douglas.

he smiles, "okay amanda. i'll be at the show."

with that he leaves me alone in the big hotel room.

—

12:36 am

my eyes flickered open to the sound of the door closing.

sitting up, i turn the side lamp on to rid the darkness.

"hey."
colson looks at me softly .

"hey."
i lightly smile.

it's quiet for a moment as we stare at each other, waiting for someone to speak.

finally, i break the silence with a sigh.

"i'm sorry, for what i said earlier."

"i'm fucking sorry too."
he walks over to the where i'm sitting, in the bed.

"i shouldn't have gotten so mad, i was probably over reacting."
i continue to apologizes more.

colson doesn't say anything though.

he places his forehead against mine, with his hands gripping both sides of my face.

we both close our eyes and i mimics him, placing my hands on his cheeks.

"i want you here, i should've never said any of the shit i said. you're possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me."

planting a soft kiss against my head he pulls away.

"i said some things i shouldn't have too."

"but i said worse things."

"i forgive you if you forgive me."

"of course i forgive you baby."
he tells me, his hands now in mine.

"can we please put this night behind us, i promise i won't hang around strippers unless you say i can, and i won't do any coke."

"you don't have to stop anything. it's your life."

"baby, i don't wanna have a life like that without you in it. okay?"
he kisses my lips.

i don't hesitate to kiss him back.

our lips move slowly in sync until colson pulls away.

"can we cuddle now? i'm freezing."
colson laughs.

smiling widely, i laugh with him,
"yes. yes we can fucking cuddle."

with that he pulls off his shirt and jeans, jumping into the bed.

wrapping his arms around me, he kisses me again.

"i love you, amanda."

"i love you too."

—————

a.n. - yay! they made up. but hopefully nothing like this happens again.. *wink* *wink* ;)