rockstar | c. baker

sixty five - i love you

colson
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"so how was your day?"
i ask trying to spark up a conversation.

she doesn't answer me.

her face is blank as she sighs loudly.

"amanda?"
i say her name, snapping her out of her thoughts.

looking up at me she speaks,
"it was fine colson."

i don't know what's up with her lately.

she's been so short with me and hasn't been herself.

what if she knows?

what if she's mad and wants me to crack.

"just fine? something happen?"

"nothing happened. that's why it was fine."

her eyes are lower than normal, and she seems really mellow.

maybe she's sad, that i'm leaving.

or sad because she found out what i did..

"did i do something?"
asking, my heart races a bit.

"nope. you didn't, that's exactly why i'm upset."

shit, she's still mad about the party.

"baby, i've apologized multiple times. what can i do to make it up to you?"

her face goes hard as if i just said something terrible.

what did i do now?

"you're kidding right?"
she scoffs, shaking her head.

"what? what did i say?"

"you followed chantel yesterday and thought i wouldn't find out? you're a fucking asshole."

wow, she caught that huh.

i don't even know why i followed her in the first place.

what did i expect to gain out of this?

"amanda, look. i-"

"save it."
she cuts me off.

"you just showed me exactly who i thought you were. you'll never change. you're the same guy who cheated and abused me. the same asshole who i forgave all those months ago."

my heart stops for a second.

how did this fucking date turn into a fight?

she doesn't even know what actually went down with me and chantel and she's ready to end things with me.

why can i never be enough for her?!

"i didn't cheat? she flirted with me and i should've shut her down. what else do you want me to say amanda!?"

"tell me nothing is going on with you and chantel. look me in my eyes and tell me that."

i stare at her with a blank look, my throat goes dry.

i cant even speak.

her eyes are stern as she stares me down.

"there is nothing. fucking nothing, going on with me and chantel."
i manage out.

chuckling she shakes her head,
"really?"

"yes amanda! fuck. what part of nothing do you not get! do we not have trust?"