The Book of Imagines: The Mindless Volume

3 | Loving the Uncapable (Princeton)

Personal imagine for Shay! Thanks for being one of my fans! Hope we get the chance to talk more.

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It has been months since Jacob had been in the hospital. All Shay could think about was that it was her fault -- that he was in this horrible condition -- and it had gotten so bad that she needed anti-depressants for it. No matter how many times Jacob whispered “Don’t blame yourself”, she would never listen to him. Any horrible signs happened to the man she loved became a permanent stain on her. From that day on, it pained Shay. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Mom, you okay?” You heard your daughter, Melissa, abruptly say, interrupting your train of thought. 

You shook your head back into reality. You continuously had these times where you’d zone out; just focusing on the thoughts and memories you had with Jacob. And because of the many times you’ve been having them, it worried you.

Shifting your rear end against the cheap, linen fabric of the hospital’s chair, you let out a typical sigh. “Yes, hun. Don’t worry about me; I’m fine.”  

Melissa was a teenager -- 18, to be exact -- so she knew from the split second to when you were lying. Even you knew you were far from being “fine”. 

All you wanted was for your children to stop worrying. You thought back on the little one, Natalie, who was still back at the condo. She didn’t have a single clue to what was going on with her father. You, your parents, and in-laws had been discussing whether you should tell Natalie what was going on with Jacob, but after multiple heated discussions, you came to the conclusion that Natalie was too young to learn about these aspects in life. So, you ended up keeping quiet, having the tragic event only known amongst the adults. However, Natalie was a bright girl. She knew her father hadn’t been around since Valentine’s Day of last year. Occasionally, she’d ask the typical “Where’s daddy, mama?” or “How long will daddy be gone?”. You weren’t merely surprised at her curiosity, though; she got that aspect from her father.

“Mrs. Perez?”

You turned your head back, noticing a tall, grey-haired man in a white coat.

“Your husband wishes to see you.”

Walking through the hallway felt like a decade. You’ve been down that hallway for a multiple of times, that you even remembered some of the other patients’ room number. However, this time was different. You didn’t know if the fact that all doors were shut created a negative effect on you, or if you were just completely out of your own being, but the hallway appeared to be endless. All you saw were almond-colored walls, bright blue, wooden doors, and black signs, which indicated each patient’s room number.

You abruptly stopped, turning your body to your right. Even though each and every room’s exterior looked the same, you managed to differentiate Jacob’s room from everyone else’s.

Taking in a wad of air, you turned the cold knob on the door, making it squeak. When you opened the door, another mental dagger seemed to yet again pierce your heart as you took in the sight of Jacob. It was weird; you had seen Jacob in this condition for nine months -- his body fully relying on the white cushion underneath him, his curly mane was greasy and uncombed, his left leg wrapped in a cast, him connected to what seemed like thousands of tubes, and his heart monitor beeping at a steady pace -- but every time you’d come to visit him, your mind took it as if you saw this for the first time.