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Desolation boy 3 - help me

Puisi

This one is for the ones who don't feel like they exist. And the ones who never get a break from pain. All poems are from my head, heart, soul and personal experiences 🛑TRIGGER WARNING🛑

#anxiety #basedonreallife #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #deep #deeppoetry #depressed #depressingpoetry #depression #eatingdisorder #ed #ednos #ftm #ftmtransgender #hospitalization #mentalhealth #nonfiction #nonfiction-poetry #nonfictionpoetry #poetic #poetry #sad #selfharm #transgender

Confused

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I don't know what love is 

                          
And I think that's a problem.

                          
I let things go because you buy me things 

                          
I let go that you pay more attention to your phone than me 

                          
Keeping streaks on Snapchat is more important than me 

                          
Tik Tok likes is more important than telling me you love me 

                          
You barely touch me 

                          
Or look at me 

                          
And I'm so scared of messing up 

                          
I'm scared all the time 

                          
So I shut off my brain so I don't have to focus on it as hard 

                          
Dissociation is much better than reality now 

                          
Much preferred to feeling. 

                          
Did I make a mistake ? 

                          
Me ? 

                          
The logical outside the box thinker? 

                          
I know I know this is abuse but is it?? 

                          
Am I over reacting? 

                          
I'm 

                          
Scared 

                          
My heart 

                          
It races.. terrified
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