Not by Blood - BEING REWRITTEN IN SEPARATE STORY

Chapter Twenty Two

EDITED 5/30/2020

Alec stood, leaning against the brick wall of the loft. Magnus sat on the couch, hunched forward and his hands clasped. Neither were speaking, and neither were looking at the other.

Alec's arms were wrapped around himself. His eyes were unfocused, unseeing as he gazed down at the dark, wooden floor of Magnus' loft.

"I guess I just don't understand." Jace said, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his Parabatai, confused.

"I just can't do it right now." Alec sighed, twining his fingers into his hair and pulling. "Not so soon after-" his voice broke.

"Not so soon after Max died." Alec tried again. "How can I try and make this into something good?"

"This isn't you trying to make light of Max's death." Jace explained. "This is you, wanting to be the person that you love. No one can fault you for that."

Alec let out a big breath and forced himself to look up at the man sitting on the couch. He was hunched over, looking like he was trying to make himself smaller. It didn't suit the usually confident Warlock.

"Magnus." Alec called softly.

Magnus slowly raised his head to make contact.

"You said you wanted to talk." Alec reminded him.

"You promised me you wouldn't leave. You promised me forever. Three weeks ago, while you laid bleeding on that floor. You told me forever." Magnus told him, his voice was void of emotion as he looked at his soulmate with tear filled eyes. "So I can't begin to understand why I feel like you are leaving me right now. Why I feel as though you are slipping through my fingers as I stand there, paralyzed, powerless to stop it."

"I'm not leaving you." Alec protested, pushing himself off the wall and taking a few steps towards Magnus. "I'm right here, Mags. I'm right here. I'm staying. For you, for our daughter."

"It doesn't feel that way!" Magnus seethed, standing up from his spot on the couch. "You've distanced yourself, Alexander. I know how hard this must be for you, I know this is horrible, unimaginable. But you can't go through this by yourself. When something unthinkable happens you are supposed to lean on those you love, not push them away."

"I'm - I'm not trying to!" Alec stuttered. "I'm not trying to push you away. I just don't know how to do this? How am I supposed to get over this? I was supposed to protect him."

"Horrible things happen everyday, Alexander. They happen to everyone, all over the world. You never think that it would happen to you, but this time it did. I wish it hadn't, I'm so sorry. But that doesn't mean it's your fault, darling."

"I was supposed to be at the Institute, I left. It was my fault."

"It could've still happened had you been there. You might've been in a meeting, or a briefing or somewhere else in the Institute. Just because you were out ring shopping doesn't mean that you're to blame for this."

Alec blanched, stumbling backwards a step, eyes wide and face suddenly white as paper.

"Alexander?" Magnus took a step towards him, hand outstretched in concern.

"How did you know -?" Alec asked, voice hoarse.

"Shit." Magnus cursed. He took a deep breath and reached out, taking Alec's hand. "You went out drinking, with Simon. After you got completely wasted, Simon contacted me. I showed up and you spilled everything. You asked us to keep it a secret. I suppose I'm not necessarily surprised that you haven't popped the question yet, but." He shrugged, letting the end of his statement hang there in the silence between them.