The Chronicles of Us

ℓєиα

School dragged
by everyday.
Bus rides
with Ariannah Schultz.
Alone.
First block
English.
Alone.
Second block
Calculous.
Alone.
Lunch.
Alone.
Third block
Musical History.
Alone.
Fourth block
gym.
Alone.
It was all the same,
everyday.
I was alone.
I spent my time
in the library
when I could.
I liked
the library.
There was
something about
libraries
that I admired
so much.
Maybe it
was the quiet.
Maybe it
was the comfort
of being surrounded
by books.
During lunch
one day,
I went to the
library
to bring
back
To Kill A Mockingbird.
(I had already read it four times)
I was searching
through the
overly abundant
plethora
of books
when I heard
the strained
voice of
a person
a few rows
down.
It was a
rarity
to hear
the existence
of people
in the
school library.
Hardly anyone
ever
came in there.
So
I stayed
quiet
and went
to find
the origin
of the voice.
He
was
sitting
on
floor
in front
of the memorial
for Hayes.
He was
in the
natural
boy position,
one leg
pressed against
his chest,
the other
against the floor.
His arm
was resting
on his knee.
The boy had
silver streaks
down
his face.
He had wild
eyes,
they were
such
a pale shade
of blue.
They were
almost translucent
in the light.
The boy
with the
see-through-eyes
also had
a full jaw line
and pale
white hair
that curled
over his ears.
He was talking.
"I'm so sorry, Grey."
He put his
head down.
"God. I can still feel you, man. It's like you're here or something. Like you never died. Like you're immortal---"
I felt bad
for snooping.
I really did.
But I did
it anyways.
"I can still see you. The memory of you is so vivid. It's like I'm watching everything play out in my mind. It just never stops---"
He wiped
his light eyes.
I was
about to
have to
do the same.
"I know you're here. Even if you're dead. I can feel you, man. I can feel you."
He started
to cry.
So did I.
So I left.
I didn't know
what to do.
I had
to get
out of there.
I had
to leave.
I couldn't
take it.
My
heart
was
racing.
I couldn't
stop
crying
once it
started.
I couldn't.
I ran
down
the hallway,
then I realized
there was
nowhere
to go.
I also
had
no
one.
So I
rocked
back and forth
on the floor
of one
of the stalls
in the girls' bathroom
and cried
some more.
I was
like a child.
When I
descended
from the lair
of tears,
that
see-through-eyed
boy
was standing
by the door.
I wiped
my face
and
tried to walk away.
I felt sick.
"Hey."
He said.
"I know you heard me call you."
He had
clearly
put aside his
prior emotions.
His voice
was without
a waver.
I didn't even
look back.
I just walked
to the front door
of the school
and reached
for the handle.
"Do you even have a ride home?"
He pushed
the door
in place
so I couldn't
pull it back.
"I'll walk."
I avoided
his eye contact.
I didn't want
to look at him.
I was
afraid
I'd break
down.
"There's not a single house by this school for another two miles."
He was right.
The school
was in
the middle
of nowhere.
"Let me drive you."
He said.
"It's really okay. I have legs. I can walk."
I reached
for the handle,
but he wasn't
loosening his grip.
"Can you just let me---"
I tried to pull
as hard
as I could.
"get out of this goddamn school?"
I started
to cry
again.
God,
I was
embarrassing
myself.
"You can't get out this way,"
He explained,
"the alarm will sound."
I couldn't
stop sobbing.
He looked
at me hard.
I covered
my face
with my sleeve.
"Come with me."
He began
down the hallway.
I followed.
I didn't
know why.
So the
next thing
I knew,
we were in
an extra classroom
with blank walls
and an open window.
He
hopped
out.
(It was a good five and a half foot drop)
"You coming?"
I nodded.
I jumped.
So,
it turned out
to be the classroom
nearest to the
student parking lot.
It also turned out
to be that the boy
had a key to the gate.
Pretty convenient.
So I didn't know why,
but I wiped away
the last of my tears
and got in his
crappy
cherry
red
Saturn.
It had a week's worth
of McDonald's bags
and coffee cups
scattered along
the floorboard.
It was a stick-shift,
and he happened
to be pretty good at it.
"I don't even know your name."
I said.
"Conner Kinney."
He told me.
"And yours?"
"Lena Carlisle."
"I would say it's nice to meet you, but I believe people typically say that under better circumstances."
I smiled
and stared
through the glass
to the
outside world.
"What did you hear in the library?"
He didn't
take his eyes
off the road.
"What are you taking about?"
"Don't play dumb. I heard you leave. I know you were listening."
"I heard most of it."
I confessed.
He shifted
the gear.
"You knew Grey, didn't you?"
Conner asked.
"It was complicated."
"It's a simple question. Did you know him, or did you not?"
Conner was
getting an attitude.
"Well, it's a complicated answer. You wouldn't understand."
I crossed
my arms
like a child.
"You turn here."
I motioned
a left turn
at the stop sign.
"Can you please tell me if you knew him or not?"
He desperately asked.
"Yes. I know---knew him."
"Why was that so complicated?"
I didn't answer.
"Can you please tell me?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Can you just remember who's goddamned car you're in and listen to me?"
I gasped.
"It's too long of a story."
The exact
second
those words
came out
of my mouth,
he pulled
over
on the side
of the road.
"I need to know."
"Why?"
Conner
started
to
cry.
"He was my best friend. I need some closure. I need to know something good so I can forget about all of the bad. I want a good picture in mind to make me stop chewing off my nails and ripping out my hair. I can't sleep with the thought of him dead in my mind. I need some consolation or something."
He laid
his head
on the
steering wheel.
"You're going to think I'm crazy."
I wiped
my face
with my hands.
"No I won't."
"Yes you are."
"Why would I?"
Conner
looked at me
with his
strange eyes.
"Because I can see dead people."