Late night drives never helped the feeling that you were never coming back. I still drove though, but I never drove sober anymore. I started self medicating after the first year that you were gone, it helps me to not feel the guilt anymore. Only temporarily though. I progressively have gone deeper into drug culture and such, it isn't a positive thing for me though. LSD gets boring after the first couple of times, ecstasy isn't great to take, and anything other than that it's just to far...excluding smoking weed. That's been my greatest medication. Not that it matters though... I ended up trying to take my life again in the form of an overdose. It made me feel numb. I didn't feel anything...but I felt myself slip deeper into that coma as it happened.
When I closed my eyes I saw you, standing beside me telling me it wasn't my time to go yet, that there were bigger plans for me. I didn't understand why I could see you, was I that close to death? I cried and asked you why you had to leave me, you told me that it was simply just your time. I'll never forgive fate for that day. The day they took you away from me. The day they made you somebody else...
I slowly started to wake up, and realize what had happened. I curled my knees up together and started to cry. I cried for my lost hope. I cried for losing myself. I cried because I felt I had nothing left anymore. I survived another attempt at suicide... How I did, is a mystery for me. I guess I found you at the bottom of a bottle of Xanax...
YOU ARE READING
A Million Reasons Why
PoetryThis is a collection of poems and short stories. There isn't going to be a million things. Maybe a million words. These poems and short stories do have some themes that might be mature. Contains themes about suicide and death.
