One More Mistake | ✓

38 | Safe Haven

"I deserved a better goodbye"
- p e r r y p o e t r y

One More Mistake
Chapter thirty-eight

❱ "What you did to Rory was cruel..." I avoided his eyes and kept myself busy by looking around the classroom. This felt like deja vu, it was like I was going back to that day when we all found out that Sterling wasn't dead and I was trying to hold my shit when he told me that he made everything up. I was so desperate to get him back, to get him to trust me. Now, that meant nothing to me.

"...I don't even know you anymore. You're a completely different person and I'm not sure what has turned you into this person. You're so heartless and cold, I sometimes wonder if you're even aware of what you're doing. I see you here, in front of me, yet you seem so far away." I try my best to avoid his eyes but I accidentally glanced his way. He looks at me concernedly and desperately. And in that moment he reminded me of me. When I so desperately wanted answers from him. I was scared and worried, I didn't know what to do.

"Can't you see it? You're the one who has turned me into this person who you hate so much. It was because of you, I'm so cruel and heartless, Sterling" I blame him for this, even though I don't see what he's seeing, I blame him.

"No, don't blame me for your distress. Don't do that to yourself because before you know it you're going to blame everyone for your problems." He said back with a look of pity.

I felt myself being punched in the face. What he said was true but what made it worse was the look on his face. In front of him, I've felt like a broken toy that he was trying to fix but he wasn't able to. I hated that look but not because he knew I was broken but because I knew I was broken.

"I don't know what you wanted me say back then but I'm going to tell you now that I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't loved. Thea, I love you so much and I know it didn't seem like I did when I left. But truth is that I did this for you, so I could protect you." He seemed so sincere and honest but how could I believe him after everything he's done.

"Lair, I don't believe you. Just admit that you just wanted to leave. You couldn't give a damn about me because if you did you wouldn't have left. You're a liar" he looked hurt and it seemed like my words had hurt him more than I thought.

"Lair, huh? You say that you didn't know about Caine until last time but next thing you know I find you in his room like you've never left his side" he says back, coming off stronger. There was no longer soft and concerned eyes, now there was fury and it gave him power to walk all over me.

"Don't bring Caine into this, he has got nothing to do with you and me" my voice got louder by every second.

"You knew all along didn't you? You knew he was here and not miles away from you. You knew since the beginning and you didn't even considered for a second of telling me." he forced a smile on his lips before shaking his head.

"You know, I miss that girl that would actually trust me but now I'm wondering if she's ever going to come back" he takes a step back before turning around and making his way towards the door. But before he can make his way out he turns to look at me.

"Please bring her back, I need her" he looks away and closes the door but when he closed the door I felt like he closed my door. The door to my safe haven which was him. He was my safe haven but now I've lost it, I've lost him.

Though, when I think about it, I've lost him a long time ago and he's lost me a long time ago too.