The Vengeful Butterfly / X1

Losing what matters. You.

3 years ago

-I...I don't know Junho...this...this is not working...-Eunsang said, lying on his bed. He was tired from fighting every night so he wanted something to change. To find a solution together.-...either we do something or...-i don't know.

-I agree...we should break up.-Junho says. The words Eunsang feared the most. This is not what he had in mind. I don't want to break up, why is he saying that? Eunsang looked at Junho and there was nothing on his face that was telling he regrets what he's just suggested. Does he not love me anymore? He knew they were fighting a lot but Eunsang loved him, he just wanted the last 6 months to pass by quickly so he can finally go back and everything would be like it was before. But Junho wasn't trying to make this work. He wanted to break up.

-Maybe that's the best for both of us...-Eunsang says that but didn't mean it. He wipped a small tear from his cheek. Does he not see how much I'm hurting? He expected Junho to say he's joking and that he'd never break up with him. But those words remained his as his hope only. He doesn't love me anymore.

-Yeah..I guess...that's it then...-Junho was ready to end the call and Eunsang widden his eyes. His heart was breaking after realizing this is really happening. His mind was about to blow up, he was ready to beg and make him stay. They had their ups and downs but never in his life he imagined that they're just gonna end everything so fast.

-I just wanted you to kno-Eunsang was trying to let him know that he still loves him and he'd wait for him. He wanted Junho to knows even if he lost his feelings for Eunsang, he was ready to give him space and once he comes back, he's going to do everything to get him back.

-It's okay. I'm not mad. I hope you'll be happy again-Junho smiled and Eunsang couldn't believe it. My world was just ruined and he's smiling? He doesn't want happiness without Junho. -I have to go now. Goodbye, Eunsang-Junho said and ended the call.There was no air to breathe in.

Eunsang still held his phone,waiting for that pretty face to appear on the screen. He couldn't believe their relationship has just ended. He expected Junho to call him back and says he didn't mean it.

A few days have passed and nothing was happening. Eunsang realized that Junho really stopped loving him. That's why he wasn't calling or texting him. Junho clearly moved on and it was only Eunsang who cried every night to sleep.

Eunsang talked to his friends and they tried to convice him that Junho is suffering too. Eunsang laughed it off, considering how coldly Junho broke up and never once called after that. He never planned to mention the words 'breaking up'. It was Junho who did. He considered to try and contact him again but he'd probably just look pathetic and Junho would tell him the same things he told him the last time.

Eunsang tried to move on after a few months. But nothing was the same. He still cried when he was alone, he avoided all of his new friends who noticed the change in his behavior. Sometimes he would update his social accounts pretending everything was okay. Hoping, Junho would see it and ask him anything about his life. He wondered if things would've be the same if he had just visited Korea when he was supposed to. But it was either his field trip that would help his grades or Junho. He would have chosen Junho if he knew this is how the things will turn out. Because he was hurt and desperate. Junho didn't know that Eunsang lost his part time job and struggled with money. Eunsang didn't want Junho to worry but his family wasn't doing well with all the expenses for his father's recovery, only his mother was working and after Eunsang lost his job, everything went downhill. But he held it to himself because he was embarrassed talking about his bad situation. He just wanted to finally finish the college, goes back and find a job to help his family and also start a new future with Junho.