The Ghosts Of Her Past (A Completed, Steamy Romantic Mystery)

Part Forty Two

"All I ever did was try to help." His voice cracked.

I took a few steps forward.  "If there's anything I know for sure, it's how much you love your sister."

He ran his hands through his hair.  "Do you think I want to be this way?  I never asked for any of this responsibility. It cost me Cassidy and my nephew." He walked past me to the bar for another drink.  He's trying to hold back his emotions and this isn't good.

I turned my body to face him. "You can't put all this on yourself, Blaine."

He slammed his glass down.  "You didn't read what's in that journal, Cora!  It's all me, the reputation of our family, and the way I spoke to her!  Before she left, I told her I was ashamed of her, so yes, it's my fault!" He threw his glass and backed up against the wall. "I was pissed at her for the entire situation. We argued, and I didn't mean it, I was angry." He slid down the wall, and that's when I finally saw his grief.  His hands covered his face and he cried.

I walked over to him and knelt down.  "Blaine, please look at me."

He shook his head.

I gently grabbed his wrists and pulled them down to see his face.  "Look at me."

I cupped his face and made him look at me.  My heart is racing as this strong man melted in front of my eyes.  Tears are streaming down his face.

"There is no question in my mind that you love her and she loved you.  She named her baby after you, that has to count for something." I paused, and just looked into those tender eyes.

"You don't think you have the right to grieve, do you?  Your position in life dictates everything, doesn't it?" I asked, and he started to cry harder. 

I sat down next to him, but facing the opposite direction, and he squirmed a bit when I pulled him into my arms to hold him.

"Just let it all go, Blaine," I said, and he finally relaxed in my arms as he cried.

"I can't let her go." He cried as he held on to me for dear life.

"You will when you're ready." I ran my hand up and down his back.

"I don't like the man I've become.  I was numb through the divorce, but I can't numb this pain." He cried.

"Hey." I pushed back and made him look at me.  His face is so close, I can only see his eyes.

"You've been strong for far too long, it's your turn to grieve.  The way you held me in that car today made me feel safe, and I know you care.  You're a good man, Blaine Lowell.  You deserve your time to grieve too." I started to cry, so he lifted his hand up and wiped a tear away from my cheek.

"It's heartbreaking when someone I've grown to care for feels this way, when I wouldn't change a thing about him," I said.

His hand rested on my cheek as he looked into my eyes with kindness and something more, but I'm not sure what it is yet.

"Do you trust me, Cora?" He asked, and I cried even harder as I kept looking in his eyes.  I need to show him how much I do trust him.

"I'm pregnant," I said, and his eyes grew soft.  I gave in and just let the tears flow as his face came closer.

"I know, and you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He whispered. My breath hitched when he kissed the corner of my lips and they lingered.

"I'm not good for you, I'm not what any man would want," I whispered as I cried.

"You're everything this man wants." He whispered, just before he slowly brushed his lips against mine as we are both still crying.

"I trust you," I whispered through my tears, just before he pressed his lips against mine.  He opened my lips with his and his tongue brushed against mine.  His mouth almost closed, but he pulled me in closer and opened his mouth again to kiss me deeper.  For just this moment, everything in the world feels right.  Our tears mixed together, giving his lips that salty taste.  His hand was still cupping my face, when he stopped and rested his head against mine.

"How did you know?" I asked in a whisper.

"It's obvious, Cora." He kissed me again, and I drew a sharp breath when a sudden excitement sped up my heart.  He leaned forward and gently laid me back on the carpet.  His body is on top of mine, as he continues to give me the most tender kiss of my life. 

He pulled back and looked down at me.  "I was waiting for you to tell me, why did it take so long?  You thought I'd judge you, just like Cassidy." He asked as he studied my eyes.

"I'm not ready for the world to know.  Gray and my parents are the only ones I've told." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"I'm scared," I said, and his soft eyes became softer. 

"You will be an amazing mother, Cora.  I've seen your hand rest against your stomach, and it's a beautiful sight.  You already love this baby, and it will love you." He said.

"The world doesn't care about that. They will only care that I was irresponsible and look down on me," I said, but he shook his head.

"Don't be scared." His thumb caressed my cheek. 

"It takes more than love to raise a baby, Blaine.  I don't even like its father, and I'm so ashamed." I cried.

He stared into my eyes and that coldness is nowhere in sight. "Would you ever give yourself to a man like me?" He whispered as he studied my eyes.

"There is no other man like you." I lifted my head and kissed him again, making him take in a sharp breath before backing his head away.

"Could you ever be mine?" He asked with his lips barely brushing mine.

"Blaine, I'm having a baby.  You need to think about it, could you ever want both of us?" I asked.

"You're everything I ever wanted, and this baby is a part of you.  Don't ever be ashamed of bringing a baby into this world.  If anything, I respect you more than anyone.  You're so brave and so beautiful."