The Lies of Your Love

19. Kaine's POV [1]

I don't understand.

I don't understand how they can hope for something knowing that they can get hurt.

I hate it all.

I hate how the world is unfair and I hate how humans can be such a monster. I hate everything about humans. They're deceiving, a liar, heartless, and how they can be so cruel to their own kind. I also hate myself for my immature thoughts. When I say monster, aren't I also a monster? A monster who hides myself behind my smile to hide the truth, a monster who's mouth whispers lies, a monster who used other people in order carry out my own revenge in the name of justice. In the end, there's no such things as good or bad, evil or noble because it all comes from our own greed. Greed is just the nature of humans, they will never be satisfied, that... I witnessed from my own experience. And from what I found, I am also the same as the rest of them... a monster.

I wonder to myself many times over, why do humans and I exist? What is the point of all this madness? Can't they see that how humans are? They're disgusting. So full of greed and selfishness. They and I cannot live without hurting anyone. They blame another for their own weaknesses. For what reason?

They kept on loving, knowing it would hurt. They hope, knowing it would shatter. They trust another knowing they can be betrayed. Knowing all that, they still desire for more. Why?

Humans simply can't live without destruction. There will never be such things as peace. Those thoughts are just illusions created inside of our hearts to ease ourselves. Aren't humans so funny? They run away from their fears, forgetting that dreams can also be nightmares.

We all want to be loved but not to be hate, right? But aren't they both the same? Love and hate will lead to pain, that is a fact. What is the difference that others see in them?

I used to believe that someday, people can truly understand one another. But that thought of mine was truly naive. How can people truly understand others when you can never understand your own self?

I...used to have a dream in which it was impossible to bring. And that was to bring...justice and peace, but oh how naive I was. Peace itself is a destruction. By bringing peace, how much was lost in the process? How much sacrifice must be done in order to bring this 'peace'? We all been driven to seek vengeance in the name of justice, but if we call such things as justice, such 'justice' will only bring more vengeance. That's why I will never truly believe that one can understand another nor they'll ever will.

In this world, you can only use or be used. I learned that time doesn't heal anything, it just teaches us how to live with the pain. And perhaps, my pain from the past will never heal as it will leave a scar. I've only had a broken heart and dream, not a broken life or future. I will live on until I've repayed all the people who have hurt me or my family.

{Life is a beautiful lie and death is a painful truth.}