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Home. My favorite place and could you blame me when I can do my favorite activity to pass the time. This is all in honor of the special box behind a couple shoeboxes in the corner of my closet.
However the current problem was that my stash was low and it posed a threat to my strangled mental health. One before bed and I'll figure it out.
Before I could drift off I sent a text to Casty telling him that I'd be by tomorrow evening after class. An angel sent straight from the heavens above is who he is; I'd met him when I was fourteen after being recommended by mutuals. The chance to finally buy from him was mine but he'd looked taken aback, and even though he was hesitant he still sold to me.
Everything I know was taught by him so I wouldn't overdose or anything all because of the proclamation, "I can't be responsible for irresponsible usage from a child" A fucking joke if you ask me. But ever since, I'd become a loyal frequenter and considering I was one of the few to buy in bulk he'd grown to like me more.
Did I say frequent? Let me be specific, every month like clockwork to be exact because to me it was despicable to hound someone too much just because of an addiction.
He'd text me back confirming, "Perfect" I threw my head back relaxing into the sheets of my bed. A beautiful blissful feeling submerged me and once again I cycled the loop.
...
"Tes, you're going to Joshua's party tonight huh?" A random asked; I knew her, yet I couldn't remember her name to save my life.
"Sure I guess but I'd probably get there a little late" shrugging my shoulders.
"Well no worries right, his parties usually last long as hell so, just show up won't you" she insisted again.
"I'll think about it alright, no promises." I replied walking away from her because I had to get to class.
Again I sit beside Yarrow who I'd guess got here first considering he was the only one with stuff comfortably out of his backpack. Damn, enthusiastic huh?
Couldn't be mad nevertheless considering it meant I get to watch him concentrate with no one in my way. A V-lone top is a choice and he certainly chose it. Joggers that hugged his thighs just right; such a shame they would be wasted on a man instead of I don't know, me?
It seemed I wasn't the only one mesmerized either because apparently he'd been mimicking me with the same level of intensity; It's official, we're weirdos. His mouth began moving as I got closer and I take it he wants to talk...
"You heard about a party by a nigga named Josh?" I couldn't be the one to confirm considering I didn't know the wanted guest list. It didn't mean I wouldn't say anything though.
"Uhh yea I heard about it but I wasn't sure anyone interesting would be there, that is unless you're there?" I implored, he scratched the back of his neck, oh you're nervous. Correction I make you nervous.
It was flattering but I couldn't promise him my attendance because I had somewhere to be "I was thinking on it but I'd probably make it really late."
"So be there later, got it." He smiled.
We both turn away from each other and butterflies. All in my stomach.
...
The day had gone by extremely fast and as soon as I'd finished my three classes of the day plus library studying I was on my way to Castriel's house.
I rung the doorbell and in a couple seconds door opened, "Wassup little one, how's it been?" He questioned opening the door wider for me to walk in after giving me a quick hug. "And what's with the sunglasses?"
"Oh you know, the sky's still blue so nothings changed and I can't be caught lacking, you know this." I laughed.
A cousin is what he reminded me of, a big cousin who contributed to my bad habits unless he got in trouble of course.
I take my glasses off walking into the living room where no one other than the infamous Yarrow and the two stooges sat looking at me confused. "This is where you had to be?"
I folded my lips hating that I would have to explain myself but, that's where free will came in because I don't have to do a damn thing.
"You know the routine, out with it." Casty pressed me walking to the kitchen with me right behind him sitting at the island.
I sat the sunglasses on the countertop, looked around given I'd have to spill my little heart all because of a stupid routine that never had three men ease-dropping on me. "I would say I'm slipping but can't slip when theres no where to walk. Crazy thing is I don't get it, I don't understand why and it's awful."
"Maybe try laying off the pills for a while and sober up, see how it makes you feel then?
"I-I can't bother my family when they all have their own issues, and Val is convinced that this party would be good for me. You know to get out the house and all but I don't think so." I looked up at him watching as he weighted the product out, counting it all up.
"Rehab and a little therapy can go a long way..." he tried, pressing a button he knew I hated to consider.
"It was no then, and it's no now so stop trying."
His hands raised in surrender "I'm just saying, why not try and get clean and-"
"Listen, I don't pay you to be my shrink because If I'm being honest I damn sure ain't looking for one. Give me what's mine and I'll be on my way." I argued watching as he slowly shook his head but I'd already had enough. I snatched the box from him just to find it empty, sucking my teeth I looked at him with my eyebrows raised."I know you're not trying to-"
"I'm sorry ma but I really want you to try and get yourself back together before it's too late-" he confessed.
"Wait, wait, wait please. C'mon please don't do this now ok I need this! We can try next month alright, next month I promise I'll give it up but not now. I don't get the feeling anywhere else you have to understand that, please!" I was on the verge of tears.
"I love you T and that's why I'm doing this now." He couldn't even look me in my eyes anymore.
I stood from the chair walking around the island, and dropped to my knees in front of him with tears streaming down my face "Look I'll scale back okay.. I-I'll do anything but you can't take this away from me." I stood back up grabbing his hand dragging him to his room slamming the door. "Why are you doing this huh, you wanna embarrass me in front of them? Is that what it is because please be serious okay!"
He walked to his night stand, opened the drawer "Leave."
"No, I'm not leaving until-"
He turned pointing the gun to me "Come back to me when you're better alright but please don't make me do this. I'm only doing this because I love you." He said with a cold demeanor and a single tear falling.
My face contorted in shock "Cas you don't mean this, okay you can stop now." He took the safety off, "Please."
