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Narcotics Anonymous is a cruel joke to me, unserious even because everyone here in the circle is telling stories from stress in so many directions. Some lost their houses, others lost a job and couldn't support their families, some lost a loved one and couldn't cope.
"Hello everyone, day 24 of being sober." My eye's shift uncomfortably but I quickly remember we're all here for the same purpose, "I enjoyed the feeling it gave me. No stress or trauma just being a dumbass for no reason."
"Hi Katessa, good job and strive for more." The group recites together like a robot.
Everyone chimed in talking about problems they were facing, "I just don't know how to connect with her when she shuts me out." Amanda confides about the situation with her young teen at home.
"Take her for a girls day and don't be pushy, moms are always pushy." I insisted.
"That's actually a good idea, plus I'm off on Thursday so that could work. Thank you for the idea, any way I could return the favor?" She smiled at me.
"How can I be a better friend?" I blink the tears from my eyes.
"Working at the strip club has taught me that people just want to feel heard and respected. Try being a better listener and see if it works!"
The session went on and lately this has been all I can do, cry. I can't seem to get a grip and it absolutely sucks.
By the time we finished I rushed out the mini classroom of the city recreational center. I would be late to class if I didn't hurry.
The silent drive to class was short lived when my car rung and my moms contact showed up on the screen, "You on the way to class now?"
"Yes mother, any reason for the call?"
"I can't speak with my daughter without having reason?"
"You can I was just saying, but anyway what's up?" I turned onto the freeway.
"I found a pill bottle in the back of your restroom sink and wanted to give you the chance to explain before I accused you of anything..."
"You were snooping in my room?" I forgot about that stash, the opportunity was right there and my fucked up ass memory was my downfall.
"Monitoring your space actually and I'm glad I did, I thought you were trying?" She chastened.
"I forgot it was even there so what does it make" I say trying to dismiss the situation.
"How can I believe you when the bottle says it should have twenty tablets and four is missing." She sounded agitated.
"I haven't taken anything okay, you can throw it out."
"I really want to believe you so, when you get home you'll take a test and that way it'll be sorted."
"I'm not taking a test! I'm telling the truth alright I forgot about it but it would feel better that you take my word you know."
