A Fine Line Between Love and Hate

Chapter 6

Matt dropped the knife and it clattered against the floor as it connected with it. He sunk to the floor and let tears fall from his eyes. Brian looked up me in disbelief at what his friend was about to do but I ignored him. I knew Matt was broken and I knew it was down to me to fix him.

I ran over to Matt and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. He grabbed onto my hands and let all of his tears out. The room was silent and I could feel Brian's intense stare on both of us.

"Are you going to tell what the fucks going on? Jade, why-" he started questioning.

I managed to stop him from saying else as I grew rather self conscious he could see something that he isn't supposed to. "Shut up! Just get out! Leave us alone," I shouted, tears threatening to spill. I didn't want to say these things but I knew I had to.

Brian's face fell and I knew my words had hurt him. "Fine, I'll leave you two alone but this isn't over. I'm not going to forget what I saw," he said as his icy glare was fixed on me. I gulped out of fear. What if he's seen my bruises? I only covered them quickly, was it enough? He quickly turned away and walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.

He put his head on my shoulder and sobbed into the crook of my neck. I stiffened and then remember he was to vulnerable at them moment to do anything right now, so I began to relax.

I held him tight until he looked up at me, his hazel eyes locked with mine. His eyes looked scared, hurt and worried and it made me feel consumed with guilt. This was my fault. I should have never even thought about ending my life. That was a selfish thing to do.

"I'm sorry," he cried as tears streamed down his face. He looked broken and fragile, in some ways I couldn't believe it was the same man from last night. "I shouldn't do this to you but I just don't want you to leave me. I love you so much, I couldn't bare it and Brian is taking you away from me. What's he got that I haven't got?" he questioned.

"Don't be so stupid Matt! I love you and for the hundredth time, there is nothing going on between me and Brian. We are just good friends. You've got to understand that Brian helped me through such a difficult time in my life, we are going to be close. He knows things about me that I don't ever want to think about. Me and him together is never going to happen. He's like a brother to me," I told him hoping to knock some sense into him but underneath that I hoped it would bring an end to the violence.

He let out a laugh and said, "Yet you say you love him and you're not into me. You expect me to react alright to that. Don't you understand how much that hurts?"

I looked at him in disgust and untangled my hands and arms from his grasp. I quickly got up as I could feel my anger rising and I knew I was ready to burst. How dare he talk about me hurting him when he's been abusing me for nearly a year.

"What's the matter?" he asked when I walked away from him. "Have I touched a nerve? Do you love him?"

"No, you're wrong but what I find disgusting is that you can look me in the eyes and tell me I'm the one hurting you," I said trying to sound confident but my voice still shook. I pulled up my loose fitting shirt to reveal my ribs and stomach that had turned black and blue due to Matt's hands. "You're the one that's hurting me. Look at what you've done but its not the physical wounds you give me that hurt me the most, it's the mental ones. What you did last night, I will remember it for the rest of my life but I tell myself that it will get better but it never does so don't you dare talk to me about pain because you know nothing."

I quickly turned away to head back up the stairs but my arm was caught by Matt's firm grasp. "How did we get like this?" He questioned wearily.

"I don't know but I know my body and mind can't take no more," I said.