Read It And Weep (Anthony Rizzo)

Twenty Six~ Happy

Hannah

Growing up I always wondered what it was like to have parents around. It's more common that people are missing one parent or the other, but I didn't have either. My mom called every once in a while to check up on us but she fell off not too long ago. I didn't know how to reach her and quite frankly I was tired of trying. She didn't want us, she made that obvious. No point of forcing someone to feel something that's never going to be there. And even when my dad was around it was obvious he didn't want kids. Not a thing to do with us.

And so with my grandparents getting older they are starting to slip off a little. They're still here and they're still able to do most things by themselves. But their minds are off and the world is changing and it's hard for them to change with them. They're struggling to keep moving forward and it's hard to watch. Especially because they can't figure out why Manny has to go to the hospital for days at a time or why I'm around so much to help them even though I have a place of my own. Times are getting hard and I'm just hoping I can be strong for everyone.

"Hey pumpkin" my grandma smiles as I walk into the house. I close the door behind me before going over to her and pulling her into a hug.

"Hey mamaw, how are you today" I ask as I look into her tired eyes.

"I'm a little bit better. I've made dinner" she claims as she turns to the kitchen to show me what she made.

"It looks amazing" I admit as I smile at her.

"Will Anthony be joining us tonight" she wonders.

I just shake my head as I try to explain this and not get her all confused. "He's at work... but he'll be over after" I assure her.

"Oh good" she cheers. "You know... he's a real sweet boy. And he loves being here and helping out with your brother. You two should date" she claims.

I feel my cheeks start to burn as I try to hide my smile. "Oh mamaw, I wish it was that easy. But he's only here to help Manny and I just want to make sure everything is okay. I don't see how that could ever work" I insist.

"Maybe because you can't plan out the best relationships. They just happen" she explains.

"I just don't see how I can add a relationship on top of the things I already have on my plate. I'm trying so hard to be what everyone needs me to be and I don't think I can be a girlfriend too" I sigh.

"Then why don't you let him take care of you for once" she asks.

It takes one look before we both fall into a fit of laughter. She raised me, she knew that wasn't possible. I can change and I will some more eventually, but never that much.

I help her set the table and my brother and grandpa crawl out from the living room to join us for dinner. We sit around the table and grab each other's hands. We bow our heads as our grandfather says grace.

"Thank you lord for blessing my wife and I with the opportunity to be in my grandkids life's. Please be with them as they continue on the troubled roads of trying to start up a business and beat cancer. Give us strength to do all we can to help them and do it as a family.

In Jesus name we pray, amen."

We break apart and enjoy our meals as much as we can. Even though things are rough right now we still have each other and that's pretty great.

Once dinner was done we all head to the living room to watch the end of the Cubs game. They ended up winning and that made Manny really happy. He swears he doesn't like sports because that's "my thing", but since him and Anthony are pretty much best friends now he hardly ever misses a game. Even when he's in the hospital he finds a tv and has them put the game on.

Once it was over he sets up in the living room and I make sure he gets his medication and do all the treatments he's told to be doing at home. I sit with him on the couch to keep him company before Anthony got here.

"How are you feeling" I wonder.

"A little bit better. Anthony wasn't kidding when he said chemo is no joke. I kinda don't want to go back" he teases.

"That's not funny Manny" I warn.

"I'm gonna go back" he promises. "It just sucks."

"Has Anthony been good to you" I wonder.

He just smiles as he nods his head. "He's been great. He texts me every day asking if I'm okay. I forget he's a baseball player from time to time because he never talks about baseball unless I bring it up. He's kinda like the older sibling I always wanted" he smirks.

"I will still beat your ass... don't test me" I threaten. He might be sick but I'll still remind him who is older.

"Okay okay I'll stop" he smirks.

He just looks at me as he smiles at me. He was such a little shit. "You know I love you right" I ask.

"Yeah. I'm not certain about of lot of things but I know that much" he promises me.

Eventually Anthony comes over and I get up to leave. I'm sure my brother doesn't want to listen to me talk anymore so I was going to let them enjoy each other. But before I leave someone reaches out and grabs my wrist. "Don't go" Anthony pleads and I stop. "We're about to watch Ace Ventura. I heard it was your favorite" he claims.

I just look at him as he tries to give his best smile. Things between us weren't awkward, it's just weird knowing he likes me but I can't handle being in a relationship right now.

"Are you sure" I ask him. "I don't want to cut into guy time with you and my brother."

"He's going to fall asleep in 10 minutes anyway" he claims and I laugh. He wasn't wrong.

So I sit back down and they start the movie. 11 minutes later my brother was knocked out on the end of the couch and I just shake my head. He swears up and down that his medication doesn't effect him anymore then he pulls this.

So I watch my favorite movie with Anthony who also was a big fan of it. He's a Miami Dolphins fan and has a Marino sweatshirt which went along with the movie. I just thought Jim Carey was hilarious and in a way it was a sports movie.

Eventually it starts to get late and my eyes start to droop. My eyes start to close as I fight back a yawn.

Suddenly I feel something on my shoulder and I see a hand sitting there. I follow the hand around and see Anthony with is arm around me. Before I can say anything he pulls me in and my arms wrap around him. I didn't even think about it, my body just molded to his and for the first time in a really long time I felt... happy. I didn't feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was warm and comfortable and... happy.

I don't say anything as I just sit in his embrace. I wanted to say something, but my body wouldn't allow my mind to ruin this moment. I never wanted to leave him and I hate that I felt like this. I hate that someone made me feel this good and that it had to be him.

But I didn't hate it enough to make it stop. Instead I get closer and closer to him until I couldn't get any closer. I try not let my mind run wild, but there's no taming it.