Read It And Weep (Anthony Rizzo)

Twenty Five~ I Made You

Hannah

I walk into the tribune this morning more nervous than I have ever been. Even more nervous than I was when I was here as a intern or the first day on the job. I had on all black like I just came from a funeral, when I'm reality I was practically planning one for my time here.

What's dead you ask? This newspaper and the people who continue to stand by knowing that this isn't right. I am in a way worse position than these people to be leaving, there's not jobs for my interest and my gender waiting around for me, yet I was the only one with a two week notice in their hands.

And in a way I wasn't ready to leave. I made a name for myself here and because of that I have this opportunity to make the best out of this situation. I felt bad because this was my dream for the longest time and now it's more like a nightmare. Working here means you made it, and I did. But now it's time I use my voice so I can be heard. No restraints and no worry about how people take the news. I'm not here to tell people what they want to hear. I'm here to tell them as it is and now I finally have my chance to do so.

I march myself to my office where I see a bouquet of flowers sitting there. They were stunning and big and really drew in some attention around the room. I shake my head because I thought I told my grandma that she didn't have to do that anymore. But I did appreciate it.

I sit down at my desk and pull out the card that came with them. Hopefully no one went through my shit this time.

But when I look at the note I notice something different. This wasn't my grandmas handwriting and it wasn't on the usual little notecard. It was a whole card with a beautiful rose on the front and just writing on the inside. So I open it up and see what we were working with.

"Dear Hannah,

I know today is going to be hard for you. I know part of you doesn't want to let go. But you're going to because you're strong enough to.

I want you to know that you're the toughest person I know. You fight for yourself and you fight for others and that's rare, to find someone who can do that. And I don't want whatever happens today deter yourself from becoming what you want to be. What you should be.

If you need someone to talk to you know how to reach me. Until then stay strong and keep me updated.

Your biggest fan, Anthony."

I smile to myself as I stare at the flowers. It was a lot more expensive than anything my grandparents sent me so I should have known it wasn't from them. Plus she loved the sunflowers because she said they brought me good luck. But I certainly wasn't expecting these to be from Anthony either.

My situation with Anthony was getting difficult. I wasn't expecting him to feel this way about me, or for me to realize I feel the same way. But he was a great guy, I think part of me always knew that. That's why I was so upset he treated me the way he did. If he's so amazing and this is what he thinks of me the maybe I was doing something wrong? Maybe the problem wasn't him but it was me? I don't know. But he went from public enemy number one to my biggest supporter. The one person I can come to about anything and I don't know how.

But I do appreciate his want to be a part of my life. And not just when it comes to work or my family but in every aspect of my life. I hate the thought of wanting him around but I think I was way past that.

I close my eyes and let out a long sigh as I muster up my courage. I wasn't scared to quit per-say, just to see what happens after the deed is done. Where my life will take me next and if I'm ready for it.

Finally I head to my bosses office and knock on his door. He opens the door and welcomes me in. I sit down across from him before setting a piece of paper on his desk.

"Is this surprise meeting for your baseball superstitions article" he wonders.

"Nope" I shake my head. "It's about my two weeks notice."

His eyebrows furrow together as he snatched up the paper. He reads it before peeking at me over it. "You're quitting" he accuses.

"I am" I admit.

"And why do you think this is okay" he snarls.

I don't break my stare as I stand my ground. He might not want me doing what I want around here but her certainly doesn't want me doing what I want somewhere else. "Why do you think it's okay to shut down stories you're scared of" I counter. "Why do you think it's okay to oppress women who already struggle in the world of sports but not the men who make it hard on us? Why do you think I would continue to waste my talents here when you never publish my whole story?

Don't get me wrong. This place has given me plenty of opportunities to branch out and be more than I ever imagined. But there's still so much people need to know and you won't let me say it" I explain.

"You are nothing without us. I made you. If it weren't for me you would have never gotten this job or any other job. They didn't want to hire a women for sports and I stuck out my neck and defended you. And for what" he snaps.

"Because it was the right thing to do! And that's why I thought this place is different, because even though choosing me was hard it was the right decision. But then I saw that you just thought that I would fit the mold and do what you say just because you gave me a chance.

But I'm taking a chance on me this time. And I know that there's no holding back this time around" I defend.

"So where are you going? The Sun Time? The Daily News" he asks.

"No. If you must know I'm starting something of my own. And we will cover every sport and every story. Not matter how controversial and no matter how much it changes things. Because the people who play and watch them play deserve better than this" I admit.

"You're nothing without this place" he accuses.

I roll my eyes because that was such a predictable line from him. He thinks he created me, but he didn't. This city and their sports did and it's about damn time I remembered that. "I'm everything I make myself to be. And without being told what to say and how to say it I can be more than you'll ever let me be. And I hope one day you can see just how powerful a job you have and how to use it for good" I declare.

And with that I stand up out of my seat. I turn on my heel and walk out the door. I figured he didn't want to see me again so I start to pack up my stuff. My friend Charles comes over and sees me packing before stoping and coming over.

"Finally leaving eh" he asks me.

"Just turned in my two weeks. I'm afraid my big fat mouth turned it into two hours though" I chuckle.

"Good for you. Where you going" he wonders.

"I started my own gig. Gonna start from the bottom and build up" I say.

"You wouldn't want a editor, would you" he wonders.

I smile up at him as he smiles back. "I would love one" I admit.

"Would you mind if I tagged along then? Because I want out too, but only if I can find another job" he insists.

"I would love to have you a part of my team" I assure him.

"Okay. But I gotta tell you upfront that I'm gay and not a lot of people like me in sports" he warns.

"There's a lot of people who don't want me in sports either, so we're in this together" I assure him.

"You sure you're okay with it? Because I would hate to mess up what you've worked so hard on" he claims.

But I just shake my head as I look at him. "Who you love has nothing to do with athletics coverage. And I don't know if you noticed but I'm a women in a mans business. I think you'll fit in perfectly with me" I assure him.

"Good. Because this place would really suck without you" he claims.