The Weeping One (MXW)

Shopping with Children

Darius rented an SUV and we had a mini road trip. We listened to all genres of music. I belted out the words to lots of songs, I'm not Whitney Houston but, I can do a hell of a job at SingStar karaoke.

Darius drove us to the largest mall I had ever seen. It could have been an average sized mall. But, to me it was substantial. I never had the want or desire to go shopping, except at the holidays. And even then, it was a quick bounce in and out.

So many stores lined the walls of this shopping center. It was a little overwhelming and I had a lot to pick out. I'm good in crowds but, if strangers offer me help, sometimes I panic. It's not that I don't trust people, it's just I don't trust their motives. I feel obligated to purchase something if the salesperson took the time to help me look. So most the time, I just try to blend in and get to the line as quickly as possible.

"Parvulus, you don't have to rush. We can take as much time as you need." Darius calmed me.

"I feel like I'm taking your whole day. And most guys don't like shopping. So, I'm trying to hurry so we can do something you four might want to do." I explained.

"Get what you need and want. Afterwards we will all do something we want to do together." Jackson promised.

"Okay." I stated in defeat.

I feel like no matter what I do or say they will always put my needs first. And, although that should be comforting, it's really uncomfortable for me. I am a giver. I love showering others with attention, affection and actions. It is difficult for me to reel that part of myself back.

My mom used to say "If you deny other's the ability to give to you, than you are robbing of them of a blessing."

Well, I am no thief. Sometimes it's just difficult to step back from the role you have occupied for so long. It almost feels like losing control. Even if you always felt out of control to begin with.

Anyways, back to this mall trip.

I tell you these boys make my life so much better. Jackson is always so controlled yet, still relaxed around me. Bryan is a total goofball. Ethan is like an exact mix of both Bryan and Jackson, equal parts collected and playful. And my mate, I can't think of a single word that could do him justice.

Darius Knight is so perfect, alluring, beautiful and god damned sexy. He has the most calm demeanor and his body is sin in the flesh. I honestly can't understand why, because I have never been sexually active. But, his mere presence makes me feel like a sinner. My mind races with images of him stealing my breath with his kisses. Then it gets much more lustful, until suddenly I am breathless. Even my subconscious is effected by him.

I just want to put him in my pocket so I can squeeze and love him whenever I want. I picture running my fingers thru his luscious hair, tugging on the ends, leaving hickeys on his firm chest and raking my nails down his muscular back. My mouth waters thinking about tasting his tongue in my mouth, biting his neck and licking his flesh.

Where was I going with this?

I'm sorry, I think I got distracted.

"Aubrey, do you need to sit down?" Ethan asked.

"No, why?" I scratched my head confused.

"You started breathing roughly and you have a few beads of sweat starting to form." Jackson looked concerned.

"Um, Hmmm, yes, yeah, sure. Sit down. Very good. You should sit. I mean I. I should sit. Um can I get something to drink please." I was so flushed. I felt like I had stuck my head next to a preheated oven.