My Story

Already Gone

There will be a day when you march ever so confidently to my home,

Barging into my heart with the love and passion you have experienced but now you want to settle down.

There will be a day where a true fool believes that what was there before will still remain there to be.

That night, I wept beneath the willow trees as the angels up above comforted me.
Through my internal chaos, I rose to my feet and walked to the doors, changing the locks that were there before.

Nevermore will someone treat me as a fool,

As a puppy waiting for their owners to return.

I wept.

I would have bandaid my open wounds and covered the bruises that lay on my skin like butterflies nestling between leaves.

I would have draped myself with the skeleton of the girl I once knew,
so when I would embrace you, the only thing you would receive was the love from the mosaic of my heart.

But silly of me,
To believe that as broken as I can be that any fool would want me.

I wept while the angels watched so cautiously

and as I slept they removed the broken parts of me.

When I awoke, I felt as free and as light as a butterfly despite my broken wings.

I did not need the validation of a thousand fools to set me free,

but to experience the guilt and shame inside of me.

To have the angels surrounding me remove the dust of those who left,

to have them remove the skeletons in my closet that kept me company,

to remove anything and everything to weigh me down.

I felt free again as if the tears I shed watered a part of me which led to my growth 

as if the fear that trembled my bones gave me the stability to stand again.

This is who I am,

the girl that has struggled with the open wounds and scars that have been infected by those who used my emotions against me like a puppet on strings.

The girl who no longer fears being alone as it gives me peace and sincerity.

There will be a day where the fools come

One by one

believing that the girl who has grown into what she was destined to be

 will have the door unlocked because they once owned a piece of her heart

not knowing that the home that she once had is emptied.

The home they once had a place in do not have the same locks as before

and there's a stillness in the air.

The sweet, silly smile that once greeted them no longer welcomes them with a warm embrace.

The girl you knew is already gone.

She's running in the fields of flowers

and the strings of the puppet that once controlled her are now used to mend the openness of her heart.

Now, it's your turn to weep alongside the angels as the girl who would have given you everything she had to offer in her home, in her mosaic of a heart has moved on with a lover that never leaves because it is within herself.

She doesn't need you.

She never did.

And she never will,

because the girl you loved is already gone.