The Beloved Izabel

Loss

April 28, 1574

Sebastian has been here for a week and we have been spending every moment together. Lorenzo has tried to speak to me but I do not wish to speak to him. Sebastian and I are at linlinthgow Place, we have spent every moment getting to know each other. Each day with him, helps me forget Lorenzo. "Your majesty, how would you feel about going into the village?" I get out of bed and jump up, "I would love nothing more." I jump on him and kiss him. 

"Claude, Sebastian and I are going into town can you please get some bread and coins so we can distribute to the people." She bows and head to the kitchen. "You seem happy." Margot says. I really do feel happy. "I am happy. He makes me feel good. I can see myself loving him for the rest of our lives." Margot squeals in happiness, "Do we see an engagement coming soon?"

"If he asked, I would say yes." All set. Now to ride into the villages and visit with my people. I meet Sebastian outside and he grabs my hand as we head to our carriage. "You look so beautiful, I can only imagine how our children will look." I laugh and sit on his lap and kiss him.

We get to the village and walk around and visit shops, we stop and talk to my people. He gives out bread and plays with the children. He would be a perfect husband. But I can't help but think of how Lorenzo must feel seeing me with someone else. "My people, I come here to meet and greet you all. As without you, I would not have my Scotland, only a throne. The king of Portugal and I would like to give you all coins and bread. We are here to help the people. May god care for us all." They all bow to us. Sebastian grabs my waist and pulls me close to give me a kiss on the cheek.

As we finish up in the village I feel that I have gotten to know my people a little better with the help of Sebastian. We are now heading back to Stirling castle, as he is going to go back to Portugal today. "It's a bit upsetting that you must leave, I have really enjoyed our time together." I say to him, "As have I, My Queen. Izabel the days we have spent together have made me feel so much than I've ever felt. I want to spend my life with you. To have you as my wife, to rule by YOUR side and only you. Forever. I'm asking for your hand in marriage, but if you chose to not accept we shall remain friends, and you will still always have an ally with Portugal." He's on one knee holding out a ring for me. I don't know what to do or say. But deep down, I think this will be good for me. He'll make me happy. "I will marry you, Sebastian." I kiss him and he picks me up and spins me.

We arrive back at stirling castle and run inside to announce our engagement to everyone. While running, he passes me and I look at him and can see how happy our life is going to be.

I enter my privy council room to find them all waiting for me. "We would like to announce, that I have accepted Sebastians hand in marriage." I smile and turn to my soon to be husband and kiss him. My privy council are clapping and talking amongst themselves except for Enzo. He looks at me, and I can see how hurt he is. He storms out and slams the door, and everyone seems to notice. "Sebastian will still go back to Portugal today and prepare everything before our wedding, since he is going to live here he will need to make adjustments and arrangements. We shall hope to see him in a few months. That is all for today."

We head to my room and I throw him on the bed, "I don't know if I can last not seeing you for months. How long do you think you'll take?" I kiss him and start a kissing trail down his chest. He groans before he pulls my face to him, "I'll be here in August, my love. I'll be thinking of you everyday." He kisses my breasts and one last kiss before he gets up. "I must get ready to leave, Ill think of you everyday Izabel. I'll write to you. I promise." We say our last goodbyes before he leaves, I'm going to miss him. I hope he still feels the same way about me in a few months.

I walk back inside and decide to visit the chambers of Lady Emilia to tell her about Sebastian. I do not wish to be announced so I open her door quickly and slide in her chambers. And, I can not believe my eyes, "ENZO, more!! Please." As she lets out various moans. She's having sex with Lorenzo. After everything I told her. She knows how I feel about him. He's hurt, I hurt him. This is what I deserve. It's my fault.

"Lady Emilia and Lorenzo when you are done, please meet me in my privy office." They both are about to say something when I immediately walk out. I shouldn't be upset, he is not my husband. I am engaged to a man, who would give me the world if he had it. Sebastian is to be my husband, not Lorenzo.

She is my best friend and can do what she pleases, they both can. As I sit in my chair I look above to see a portrait of my father. How I wish I could see him just one time, and tell him that I love him. "Your majesty, Lady Emilia and The Duke of Savoy."

"Let them in." I straighten up my crown and wait for them to enter. Keep your emotions down. You can do this Izabel. "I would like to say that I am upset but I shall not, you are not my husband and you shall do as you please. I only intruded to tell my good friend Emilia on the proposal that I have just accepted from Sebastian. Emilia you have been the greatest friend to me and I feel betrayal by this act." Emilia is crying and Lorenzo can not look me in the eye. "Your majesty I never meant for any of this to happen, you are my friend and I have dishonored you. I know how much you love him.." I cut her off, "Emilia, enough. We have been friends since we were just babes, I love you as a sister. I will still have you as my lady, but do not expect me to trust you as I have before. It will take time." Emilia cries even more, "Yes, Your majesty. I thank you for the opportunity to still serve you." I motion for her to leave. "Now, Lorenzo you may speak."

"It isn't all her fault. Izabel you have repeatedly hurt me. I thought you loved me, and now you say you are to marry Sebastian. I'm hurt and I was stupid to think that you could love me. If only you could see that I do not wish to control you, but only love you and have you bear my children. You can't punish Emilia and I for doing nothing but the ordinary. You are pushing me away, and we will both suffer from it." So let us suffer, it is part of being alive.

Sebastian, King of Portugal

The engagement ring