Last First Kiss

chapter 32:)

            It’s been three weeks, three weeks of staying in bed all day and being waited on hand and food. Whenever I need my pillow fluffed someone, usually Liam, was there to fluff it. When ever I would so much as peep somebody was there to see if I was okay. It was nice at first but now it was just annoying, I haven’t had one moment alone since I’ve been released, no time to grieve or cry and figure out what I want to do, and Liam always being there for me made me feel extremely guilty for not telling him the truth.

            Luckily all the lads went back toLondona few days after my surgery, leaving me with just Liam and Amanda. My days usually consist of waking up to cereal in bed and Liam laying next to me, we would usually watch a movie and I would bath, apparently showers were to risky for right now. Liam wanted to help me the first time I went to shower ‘making sure I wouldn’t fall’ yeah right I wasn’t having any of that so I promised him I would take baths like a child, with him constantly knocking on the door to make sure I didn’t fall asleep. Amanda would come over bringing something good like ice-cream white chocolate chips and gummy bears. Yum. Of course two of everything because Amanda doesn’t share. Then I would fall asleep watching a movie. This was on repeat for two weeks until today.

            Today the doctor finally cleared me, so I fly home. As soon as I got back to the hotel we packed our stuff and caught the first flight back toLondon. So now I am currently in an airplane flying toNew Yorkthen back home toLondonfrom there. I guess I have a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do with myself and this I was I have come up with.

1. finish school again, online of course there is no way I am going back to one of those hell holes.

2. Move in Amandas flat, which she shared with Alyssa but you could say she’s not in the picture anymore. This one had a lot of debate and a few were mad with my final decision, but I don’t care it what best for me. Liam wanted for me to move in with him and I know I would love to be held by him everynight, but we have only been dating a two and a half months and I don’t want to be stepping on his toes, I know it will be better in the long run. Harry wanted me to move in his new place, but we would be constantly fighing and im still a little mad at him. Which leads me to my best friend, who really needs me right now and we always planned on moving away and living together so what’s better than right now.

3. Get a job, the lads, especially Liam, did not like this one at all. He said I’m his girlfriend and he had more than enough money to support the both of us, which I knew was true, but it didn’t feel right taking any of his money and I should support myself. Plus it 2012 I am more than capable of earning my own living.

4. Get healthy. As soon as I’m 100% recovered I am going on a diet and straight to the gym. The only one I told about this one was Amanda because I know Liam would tell me I’m beautiful the way I am and don’t need to change for him. But I’m doing this for myself, I tried to get Amanda to go to the gym with me but she was having none of that.

“Are you okay love, your being usually quiet” Liam asked for the 5th time

“I’m fine Liam” I snapped.

“Okay” he looked hurt and turned away to look out the window. We sat in silence again for a few moments and this time it was me that broke the it.

“I’m sorry Liam I didn’t mean to it to come out like that, I just I don’t know I’m sorry” I grabbed his face so he would look at me.

“it’s fine Brook I understand” he refused to look in my eyes and so I dropped my hands from his face and grabbed his hand.

“no you don’t, I’m feel like child and suffocated and I know you are just worried because if the roles were reversed I would be the same way, but I need my freedom and when you asked how I was doing I just snapped I couldn’t handle it anymore which is not an excuse to be mean to you and I’m sorry I really am” I wiped the tear that fell down my cheek and got up from my seat and ran to the toilet. I put the cover down and sat down and started to sob quietly and after about 10 minutes there was a knock on the door.