✔︎ Sakura's Moronic Best Friends (1/2)

Chapter 5; Spar

After breakfast and after Mikoto left the kitchen to go rummage through her ridiculously huge walk-in closet for the most adequate outfit that screamed property of Uchiha's-they were all ridiculously possessive creatures, even Mikoto, who Sakura occasionally thought during times like this was even more so than the rest of the Uchiha males-Sakura attempted to beat feet out of the room and the vicinity of males.

Obviously, this didn't work.

Naruto and Sasuke had come downstairs since the bondage incident-as Sakura would forever refer to it as. When she had first mentioned it as such shortly after seeing Naruto and Sasuke again, both boys had equal looks of horror on their faces, with Naruto muttering, "B-but S-sakura-chan! That makes it sound like-" and Sakura just continuing to smile evilly at him until he caught on that she just didn't care and sort-of-kinda-maybe wanted it to infer such a thing. Sasuke had glared at her, and since then would respond to everything with nothing but a Hn. "Would you like some toast, Sasuke?" "Hn." "How did that case end that you were working on?" "Hn." "Would you like some more rope for the next time you and Naruto get frisky? I think I have some leather whips and-" "HN." And then, via Naruto: "SAKURA-CHAN! WHY WOULD YOU HAVE WHIPS!?" Hidan had looked to be in some fucked up heaven around then, a trickle of blood leaking out of his nose-and were keeping a good amount of distance between each other.

Mikoto had still been in the kitchen when this happened, and had looked up from her morning green tea, eyeing Sasuke wearily. But Sakura could still clearly see the amusement in her eyes. "Something you want to tell me, sweetheart?" Sakura had already filled her in on the details of the bondage incident.

Sasuke had looked at his mother, wide-eyed. "Mother, it isn't what you think-"

Mikoto had stopped him by waving her hand lazily around, taking small sips of her tea. "It's fine, Sasuke. Your father and I already realized there was something odd about you. I mean, all those pretty little girls who followed you around and you never gave even one of them the time of day. Well, except Sakura, and I'd been hoping that you'd be the one to keep her around, but I guess there's still Itachi, Shisui, Tobi, and Madara-"

Naruto was jumping around frantically, mumbling incoherently about his straight-ness and never, ever would he be attracted to the teme and, oh, there was Tobi, sitting next to Sakura and drinking his tea demurely, who looked up and saw Naruto spilling his food all over himself, and said, "Naruto-kun shouldn't be so hyper in the morning. It's good to let food digest quietly." Tobi continued to sip his tea as everyone at the table shot him dumbstruck looks. Kisame nonchalantly looked for the flying pig out the window.

Sasuke was just looking at his mother in horror. "No, no, mother, it isn't like that. I'm straight-"

"No need to be shy about it, little brother," Itachi interrupted, delicately lifting his chopsticks to his mouth and taking a dainty bite of rice. "We've all suspected it for some time now."

"I LIKE BOOBIES!" And there was Naruto, and it appeared some eggs had found their way onto his orange shirt. The color combination wasn't pretty, and Sakura vowed to make him change shirts later, since she knew he probably wouldn't even notice it.

Naruto turned to Sakura, desperate. "SAKURA-CHAN! TELL THEM IT WASN'T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE!"

Sakura blinked innocently at him. "And what did it look like, Naruto? Because I seem to remember some rope and bondage involved. You know, there's some books out there that might be interesting for you and Sasuke to read-"

"NONONO! SAKURA-CHHAAANNNNN-"

"-and you might want to think about not telling Sai about this right away. You know how he already is and when he finds out . . ." Sakura paused for dramatic effect. "Well, I'm sure you can imagine-"